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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dr. Joe Gessner's "Testicle Festival" -- Wednesday, April 2

Dr. (as in veterinarian) Joe Gessner called me yesterday to ask if he could stop and share some of the materials he wants to do at the annual "Rocky Mountain Oyster Feed" I mentioned a few blogs back.

When he arrived he had me accompany him to some song parodies he made up for the "testicle festival". Here is an example, set to the music of melody "To All The Girls I've Loved Before":

To all the nuts we've known before
That managed not to hit the floor
We're glad you came along
You've made us big and strong
You are the nuts we've known before

To all the nuts that met my knife
That brought such joy into our life
You filled us with delight
Helped satisfy the wife
You ae the nuts we've known before

Yet there are those that will not try you
No matter how delicately I fry you
They know not what they miss
You're sweeter than a kiss
You are the nuts we've known before

To all the nuts that made our day
And brightened our life in many ways
We honor you once a year
To our hearts you are so dear
You are the nuts we've known before

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I asked Dr. Joe how he prepared the bull testicles and he told me that after "cleaning" them by removing the hard outer shell, they are soaked in milk and then dipped into a batter and fried. The "Testicle Festival" is held at TJ's Inn, Downsville, on the first wednesday in April every year.

Dr. Joe told me that the response has been phenomenal with big crowds every year. He also told me that the women get really excited about the occasion -- much more so than the men.

If you would like to attend, now is the time to call TJ's and make a reservation. I will be going this year for certain so that I may give you a full report on this blog!

Dr. Joe Gessner is originally from New Jersey (near Trenton), attended Kansas State University while Lynn Dickey was quarterback for the football team, and took his first job in Kentucky.

He told me that he wasn't able to deal with the Kentucky mentality (or lack of it). He found Kentucky to be pretty frightenly backward. He told me that he would come to a bridge and find that the locals had made a separate vehicle path which would circumvent the bridge and ford the stream as the bridges were that unsafe.

This morning I rolled out of bed at 5 AM just after Kim's alarm went off. She remearked that she wished it was so easy for her to get up like I did. I told her that the ability to geet up quickly in the morning came from the fact that I was rasied on a farm and did my stint in the army.

Every morning -- the same thing!

"Drop you cocks and grab your socks!"

And that was my mother!

I got some great e mails from my friend Matt Capell in Italy. He should be writing a blog of his own! Here is what he wrote:

LETTER FROM NAPOLI

Every morning I awaken and find that it is about 3 am. My mother said to me before she died that when an infant I was always fed at 3 am. Later, I seldom went to bed before 3 and when In EC I lived across the street from my office I always got up and struggled through the snow to the office and worked. Sometimes I dictated as many as six or eight letters on "dial dictation" These were done over the phone. One had to have one's self together to do this. My secrectaries would type the letters and they would be delivered to my office about nine or ten the next morning for my signature and mailing.

It was great...If we had a snowstorm, the plow guys would stop for a coffee which was always going and sometimes they had a shot or two of brandy from the desk drawer. My lot got extra good service and was always clean. Nothing like a coffee royale (coffee, cream, sugar, and hefty shots or two of brandy in the cup..) for a snowy, below zero EC morning. MIne was a regular stop when I had my lights on. There were jokes, laughter and male bonding that went on when we had one of these mornings.

Aftwards, I could get the Lincoln out from across the street and go for an early am breakfast sometimes at the Old Home and a beer for breakfast with the eggs, and all the trimmings at about 7 or 8. I never did teach voice until 9 so there was plenty of time to get together to teach. It was a great time. Dennis Oliver, the bass player, would sometimes stop by also. I am surprised that no one ever did complain, but at that hour who knew...


Later, I trained the cat to be fed at 3 or so when I awoke. When I did not get right up in time she came and jumped on my stomach in the bed and made me get up. This was even when I had put out fresh wet food the night before and she knew that it was there. I had to take her in and show her that it was there before she would eat it. When I did not get right up she would first knead my chest with her feet and then getting no response would bite me on the nose and make me get up. Old habits die hard.

I have gotten the cd burner and the microphone fixed in the house. I can now SKYPE again. Tomorrow I do my bit as a substitute teacher. I have stuff to read and do while they try to not have me give my "I'm not your cop speech" If you cannot do what you are supposed to do leave now.

Spring is coming to bella Napoli. I am doing well. I have yet to finish the taxes. I find that this year I can avoid paying tax on my earnings by filing separately and giving all the deductions on the itemized deductions to Dianne. Don't know how it is going to turn out but I always try it several ways until I get close to at least 1K back from the stealing sons of bitches. It is always such a rush to open the bank account and see where the government has put in you refund. Makes it all worthwhile. I always listen to something when working on them LOud LOUD LOUDER in the house since I am there alone. All this is better than what apparently the New York governor did late at night pretending to work. What can a prostitute do to Mr. Happy that is worth $5000. per session?

It is now 4:32 and I must go back to bed for awhile. I can now sleep again. Perhaps I will have my 3 am feeding now. I have some left over chicken or I could do breakfast ...a poached egg and toast ...something light...I don't think I will have the extra hot ten alarm chili I made three days ago...save that for a night...with cornbread...

Matteo

Bona Pasqua...

And this news story he found on Reuters:


Airport stops women with human remains in suitcase
Wed Mar 12 16:03:55 UTC 2008

MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) - Two Italian women carrying luggage containing the remains of a man who died in Brazil 11 years ago were stopped by Munich airport police during a stopover on their journey from Sao Paulo to Naples.

"Airport security spotted the skull and bones when the suitcase was put through the x-ray machine," police spokesman Christian Maier said.

One of the women was the dead man's sister and she explained to surprised officials that it had been her brother's wish to be buried in Italy.

After showing his death certificate, the Italians, aged 63 and 62, were allowed on their next flight to Naples.

"We questioned the women and they produced a valid death certificate showing he had died 11 years ago of natural causes. As they were not violating any German laws they were allowed to continue their journey to Italy," said Maier.

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