HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ball Game Perfect Place To Meet Friends


Glancing down the third base line to the bleachers, I spotted two familiar faces and an exmple of friendships in need of renewal and lives that needed catching up with, Wil Denson and his wife, Judy Sims. They had chosen to climb high up into the bleachers and sun themselves in the late May sun, so I did the same, bum knee and all.

Only trouble with catching up with friends during the game is there is no instant replay. If something big happens on the field, you've missed it! But we visited anyway, and all the while I am wondering about the ettiquette of striking up a conversation mid-inning and if this is, in fact, irritating to Wil and Judy. Geez! Here's a thought, Larry. why didn't you ask?

At any rate, it was really good to see those two. I also was able to visit a bit with Don Finch, who is so much an important cog in the Cavalier wheel. I reached an agreement with Don that I would put a band together to perform an hour before the Cavs game on Thursday, June 28th, Bothun Night at the park. That's always a good time and I look forward to it.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame


In days past, our society was much more closely knit with band concerts, ice cream socials, church card parties, and VFW chicken dinners. I have news for those of you that think they have disappeared. those activites are still available, especially in the smaller towns in America. I have always thought that if you want to introduce someone from another country to what Wisconsin is all about, take them to a Jack Harmon chicken dinner!

Better yet, take them out to Carson Park, a sacred piece of baseball history, for a baseball game on the very ground that such greats as Hank Aaron and Bob Uecker took their cuts.

Although I had no visitors from a foreign land, that is exactly what I did yesterday, Memorial Day, 2007. The day dawned grey and cool, but by first pitch at the Cavaliers vs the St Paul Merchants game, it was truly a beautiful day for baseball. And the first game of the double header was a really good game. the Cavs pulled it out 2-1.

There is more than just baseball going on. It is a time to renew friendships and catch up on people's lives over a bratwurst and a cold 20 ounce Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss.

Glancing down the third base line to the bleachers, I spotted two familiar faces and an exmple of friendships in need of renewal and lives that needed catching up with, Wil Denson and his wife, Judy Sims. They had chosen to climb high up into the bleachers and sun themselves in the late May sun, so I did the same, bum knee and all.

Only trouble with catching up with friends during the game is there is no instant replay. If someting big happens on the field, you've missed it!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Guitar Man Collects Harmonys of Youth



Few people know that yours truly spent a year in the seminary at Holy Cross Seminary in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. you see, my older brother John was already a Junior by then, and the Sisters of St. Francis at St. Joe's in Menomonie thought that it would be "special" if there were two Heagle boys in the priesthood. Being raised Catholic and consequently having no idea what the term"free will" meant, I dutifully signed up at the end of my eighth grade year, lest I bring the wrath of God and the entire faculty down upon my country boy head.

Well, thankfully, by Spring, I figured out that there were no girls there and I quit. In actuality I was asked to leave, so then I quit. I am thankful for one thing that I learned at the seminary, a love for the guitar. My friend (and fellow seminarian at the time) Jim Burkhart got me interested in the instrument.

My first guitar of any value was a Harmony Sovereign. It was an all solid wood guitar, spruce and mahogany, and it was huge! The lower bout measured 16 inches across so the bass register was pretty impressive. I lost that guitar to a "bar mishap" while in college and by then Harmony guitars weren't "cool" enough for folkies like me. One had to at least have a Gibson or the Holy Grail, a Martin.

This past Winter I began ruminating over that first good Harmony guitar and decided I would start looking for an exact duplicate to the first one I ever had. Where better to locate it than on eBay. I had no experience in the pitfalls of being an eBay'er and consequently there were several false starts before I finally landed my Harmony. It is in the accompanying photo with the natural spruce top and what's really eerie is that this particular guitar was manufactured in the Fall of 1959 which was the beginning of my senior year in high school at Menomonie High, about the same time I bought my first one.

It has the same familiar booming bass register of my original, and although it is just under 50 years old, it is in pretty good shape! Trouble is, now I knew I was hooked! Several months went by and then I located the tobacco sunburst Silvertone guitar that you see in the picture. Yes, I said Silvertone, the house brand name for all Sears and Roebuck goods having anything to do with music. It is, in fact, a Harmony made guitar, as Harmony jobbed out to Sears, Montgomery Wards (Airline) and even Fender in their early stages.

I'm afraid I am now a full-fledged Harmony junkie! The little guitar next to the other two is an all mahogany H165 which has an entirely different yet delightful tone.

Some other time I will show you the Harmony 1270 12 string guitar that is also part of the collection. It is presently in pieces under the loving care of Gordy Bischoff, guitar builder extraordinaire (www.bischoffguitars.com) as it was in much need of a neck set.

Now I am keeping an eye out for a Harmony archtop. Harmony made lots of those over the years. Unfortunately, as the Delbert McClinton song goes: "Nothin' Lasts Forever", and in the 1970's Harmony sold the name to the Japanese, so If you find a Harmony guitar for sale, make certain that somewhere it says "made in the USA" as they dropped in quality with the sale.

Several months ago, I discovered that there is a website for those who collect "The People's Guitar" (a name given to Harmony guitars because they were produced in such abundance at nominal prices that many of us started learning guitar on a Harmony). If you are interested, simply type harmony+forum in your search engine and follow directions.

Also, if you are just interested in seeing how prolific The Harmony Guitar Company of Chicago really was, type: http://harmony.demont.net into your browser. I think you will be pretty impressed!

David's Recent Visit


My son David stopped in for a couple of days last week, on his way through after a whirlwind tour as an electronic musician/dj. He just did gigs in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Denver and Boulder, Colorado, then on to Minneapolis, Minnesota. His next gig is up in Canada.

Recently, as I spoke about in an earlier blog, he went to London, England with a piece of music he wrote to accompany a commercial for The English Ford Corporation. From there he accompanied the Ford execs to the European Auto show in Switzerland.

He told me stories of how the Swiss are treating American citizens these days; shall we say less than warmly?

After the Car Show he flew to Australia to hang with another electronic musician/composer he had met previously. He enjoyed Australia immensely, especially the abundant fresh variety of seafood available there.

While he was visiting here, we got to brainstorming ideas for tee shirts, so stay tuned for some crazy stuff on my site! One of David's really off the wall ideas is one that I think will do well:

"Will Drink For Beer" (copyright, May 22, 2007) David Heagle)

I just want to say that I am excited about how well his music and performances are going. He hasn't had to go back to his day job in quite a spell and is hoping that eventually he will be writing music and perfoming full time. Most recently he has been asked to compose music for an IMax production, so he has his plate full at the moment.

We had a great time together while he was here. He kept me laughing for two days straight!

More "Things Learned"

Some time ago, my friend Robert Johnson sent me some "truisms", (things that we have learned thoughout life that stand as true) and this morning my wife Kim stumbled upon a book we have had for years called "Live and Learn and Pass It On" by H. Jackson Brown, Jr..

I want to share some of these with you, even though I haven't asked Mr. Brown's permission. Perhaps one day I will have to write: "I have learned not to plagarize other people's writings", or "I've learned that you should always get permission to use the printed word", or "I have learned that there is a prison sentence for plagarism and Bubba is not a very nice room mate!"

Anyway, here goes:

Deciding whom you marry is the most important decision you'll ever make.

When you remodel, everything costs twice as much and takes twice as long as you think it will.

A patrol car behind me always makes me nervous.

You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you had better know something.

No one has a clue about what the stock market is going to do.

Couples without children always know just how you should raise yours.

Getting fired can be the best thing that can happen to you.

No quality product sells for a cheap price.

You shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

Courage is being frightened to death of doing something, and then doing it.

Whenever you take a fishing trip, the guy at the bait shop always says: "Gee, you should have been here yesterday!"

If chewing gum is dropped on the sidewalk within the past 48 hours, my shoes will find it.

At least once in his life, a man makes a fool of himself over a woman.

Marrying for money is the hardest way of getting it.

anticipation is often better than the real thing.

It's better to be married to someone with a good nature than a good physique.

Children and grandparents are natural allies.

Even if you schedule a doctor's appointment at 8 AM, you still have to wait an hour.

Note: There are lots more! I will share them from time to time (unless I am told to "cease and desist"). I know that we can garner many more on our own, so if you have a gem of truth that should be shared, write to me!

Memorial Day Reflection

On this Memorial Day I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my own family's contribution to the military of this great country. My middle name, Raymond, bestowed upon me when I was born, is a name I am very proud of, as it is the first name of my uncle Raymond Wetzel, a handsome young man who left his university studies at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, to enlist in the Army Air Corps just after the Japanese attack at Pearl Harbor.

He went through pilot training to become a fighter pilot, the most difficult of all the regimens, as only the very best were chosen to fly single seat fighter planes.

He completed his training, was assigned to flying the P-38 Lightning, a twin-boomed, very fast, well armed fighter plane that saw extensive duty in both theatres of WWII. While awaiting his final orders to ship out to England with his fighter group (they would be flying escort to B-17 and B-24 Bombers over Europe) he tragically met his death, when upon a practice flight, he came in to fast, crashed and burned.

The Wetzels (my mother's side of the family) were a large family of five girls and two boys. The other son, Frances, also served in WWII as a cook in the ETO, and fortunately, he lived through the war.

My oldest brother, Bob, served in the army just after the "police action" in Korea, and was, in fact, stationed in Korea during that tense time just after the war.

I served with Company A, 128th Infantry, the National Guard unit out of Menomonie, Wisconsin, taking my basic training at Fort Leonard, Missouri, and my advanced infantry training at Fort Dix, New Jersey.

Upon returning to my home unit, I entered school at UWEC and only finished one semester when we were called to active duty by President Kennedy and shipped to Fort Lewis, Washington for 10 months of active duty during what was called "The Berlin Crisis".

I will always remember the guilt my father, Jack, unnecessarily carried because he was not allowed to go into military service during WWII. As a farmer, his skills were needed much more on the home front. It was a burden that he uncomfortably carried all his life.

So, on this day of remembrance, I will say a prayer for my uncle Raymond and for all our armed forces personnel. Let us hope that we finally achieve some political leadership that will truly "support our troops" by bringing them home NOW!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Memorial Day Weekend and Business As Usual

This Memorial Day weekend has set me to pondering the question "Why have we, as Americans, allowed our supposed leadership to proceed unchecked into a criminal war, standing idly by, doing nothing more than putting "support the troops" stickers on our huge, gas guzzling, 4 wheeling vehicles?" Yes, we support the troops as long as none of us have to sacrifice a family member to a car bomb or a sniper's bullet. We support the troops as long as our fuel prices don't continue to climb and we have some money with which to go out for dinner. We support the troops as long as we don't have to pay for their recovery in veteran's hospitals.

George W. Bush is, without a doubt, the worst man to ever take office as president. Again and again he has broken his oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States and our elected Congress does nothing to hold him responsible for it.

Nearly one thousand new graves have been dug to bury our youth in the prime of their life just since Memorial Day one year ago. What does our compassionate president have to say about it: "It could be a bloody - it could be a very difficult August."
That is blood that is on not only his hands, but the hands of the Congress and the hands of American citizens who have not begun to speak out against this abomination.

How can any of us, in good conscience, still display a Bush '04 sticker on their vehicle?

And what's really disheartening is that the opposition party is no better. Except for a few, they obviously learned nothing from the last elections. It's business as usual and it makes me ill.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Heagle and Moore Recommend Prine and Wiseman


NO, the guys pictured are not John Prine and Max Wiseman, but being a staunch John Prine fan, This past week I stumbled upon a new CD entitled "Standard Songs for Ordinary People" on which Prine shares the vocals with country legend Mac Wiseman. I am a huge fan of John Prine. Jay Moore has proclaimed the accolades of Mac Wiseman for years so I ordered the CD through Amazon.com and boys and girls if you have a genuine love and respect for the old days of country music, back when country writers were "keepin' it real", this is a must have for your collection.

Let me put it another way. If you listen to Moose Country and you enjoy the witty and loquacious style of Jay Moore and the tunes he spins on his show, you have to have it. If you think WAXX is really hip country, you may as well keep your wallet in your, well, "hip" pocket.

At any rate, I LOVE IT. I have been playing it incessantly since I got it and I am still not tired of it. Get a load of the songs: "When the Blue of the NIght", "old Rugged Cross". "Just The Other side of Nowhere", "In the Garden", "The Blue Side of Lonesome". "the Death of Flyod Collins". "Old Cape Cod" (!!??), "Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine". "Saginaw, Michigan", Pistol Packin' Mama". "I Love You Because", "I Forgot To Remember To Forget". "Don't Be Ashamed of Your Age" (Jay Moore and Larry Heagle's theme song), and "Blue Eyed Elaine". Absolutely wonderful! Golden!

Where I Cybershop

It's time to give "props" to websites that have gained my personal confidence as being reliable and carrying quality product, consequently, being sought after time and time again:

www.flightjacket.com. - I am a baby boomer of the 1940's and had an uncle who flew and died in a P-38 Lightning during the
war. Fascinated by the jackets pilots wore, I went in search of A-2's and B-3's. I had one of each from
this top quality manufacturing company located in New York. I say "had" because, sadly, the emer-
gency medical team that came to my rescue as I lay unconscious after the more recent motorcycle
accident, had to cut away my russett-hued horsehide A-2, to check my injuries. I still have their in-
credibly warm, and well-constructed sheepskin B-3. Paul McCartney doesn't like me.

www.fqms.com - First Quality Music and Strings, Louisville, Kentucky, is my go-to store for any and all my professional
needs for guitar, including strings, straps, capos, tuners, and just good sound advice.

www.distantreplays.com - Located in Atlanta, Georgia, and commanded by a crazy guy named Andy Hyman, going to this
store I feel like a kid in a candy store because I love retrosports baseball and football jerseys and
CAPS! Once when an order got screwed up by a supplier (not Distantreplays fault), Andy went out of
his way to contact me and follow through, making everything right.

www.towerhobbies.com - This is the site that "little boy" Larry goes to to pick up all his 1/32 scale models of German and
American armor replicas. They carry Unimax; tanks and armor with incredible detail, made in (where
else) China.

www.murfandpat.com - My source for all matter of sports patches and other sports minutia I cannot seem to locate else-
where. I am somewhat more biased because they are out of Brule, Wisconsin!

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZscjllc - Yet another great source for jerseys that you can actually bid and bargain for.
Very customer oriented. Their attitude is "we treat you the way we would like to be treated".

www.aikensairplanes.com - my source for 1/48 scale diecast aircraft of WWII models. They carry all the really good lines, my
personal favorite being The Franklin Mint. Anybody want to buy me a C-47 D-Day Transport plane
for Christmas? I want the "Argonia".

www.ebay I-Have-The-Gift - Yet another great source of really really well made jerseys. I have a "Don Chandler" Packer jer-
sey that is my favorite night shirt that I bought from Harv. Their jerseys are mostly nylon and in-
credibly luxurious.

That's it for now. It has been fun for me to give all these businesses a plug on my site because they all deserve it. Buy from them and tell them "Larry sent you!"

How To Give A DotCom Sales Rep A Heart Attack

I discovered this bit of devilish endeavor quite by accident yesterday. A certain website that I go to quite frequently to buy goods online underwent some changes to their site, making my bookmark to the site no longer effective. So I e mailed them, asking why their goods were no longer being offered.

Then, after going back to the site a second time, I realized that to reach the goods I wanted, I now had to type what I wanted into their search engine.

I got a panicky e mail from the merchandiser saying that they are still in business!

So if you are ever unhappy with something you buy through the internet and they won't give you a refund, make their blood pressure soar by sending them the same sort of e mail I sent!

Hope you all are having a great Memorial Day weekend! Ah, the harbinger of Summer! Roll out that Weber cooker and get out the steel wool and degreaser. Mama, go pick up the brats and beer!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Open Letter To My House Rep

Mr. Kind:

I cannot begin to tell you the despair I feel today knowing that only 140 House Democrats voted against giving Herr Bush a blank check to continue his criminal war through the Summer. We elected you with a clear mandate to lead us out of the chaos of Iraq and you crumbled when we needed you to fight.

It is tempting just to throw my hands up and walk away (as you obviously have). but it is also acutely clear that there IS no one else who will fight this fight. Either we, the electorate, do it, or no one does.

This is indeed a dark moment, but there are hopeful signs that point the way ahead. In the Senate, Democratic presidential candidates Dodd, Obama, and Clinton stood firm aginst this weak bill and voted 'no'. In the House they were joined by 140 Democrats. How very embarrassing it is to me that you were not one of them.

Well, you are the one that will live with that on his conscience and I am the one who will make certain that you no longer have my support come election time.

Miscellaneous Humor

My friend Robert Johnson teaches in Shanghai, China. He sent me the following "daffynitions", created through the imagination of his students:

diphthong- what girls do when they wash their underwear

dyspepsia - a disease caused by drinking too many carbonated beverages

coincide - heads or tails

omnibus - a multi-purpose transport vehicle

subterranean - the southern part of the Mediterranean Sea

neophyte - lovers’ first quarrel

ambiguous - when is difficult to estimate something’s size

debate - what a fisherman puts on his hook

deform - what you fill out when applying for something

degrade - what you get on your report card

illegal - a sick bird

affiliate - to consume too much food

circulate - to have eaten the entire pizza

antedate - to go out with your mother’s sister

anonymous - a rodent with amnesia

penultimate - the most expensive writing implement you can buy

postdoctoral - a P.H.D. disguised as a mail carrier

megaphone - a high tech communication device, usually large in size

My wife Kim's good friend Jill sent the following by e mail:

Why husbands don't make very good secretaries:
Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:

"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't even know you liked beer."

Today, May 25th, is my friend Wil Denson's birthday. I don't remember how old he is. Neither does he! but Happy Birthday any way, Wil, you old fart!

What Larry Is Currently Listening To:

"Standard Songs For Average People" Mac Wiseman and John Prine. An incredible collection of great old songs by two profoundly touching country voices. I can't stop listening to it!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Truth Shall Set Us All Free

Once again,I would like to yield my inane blatherings to one of America's great artists and true heroes, Michael Moore, whose new film "Sicko" was shown at the Caanes Film festival yesterday eve. I, for one, can hardly wait until it opens here in this country on June 29th!

Mr. Moore:

A Letter from Michael Moore: 'Sicko' is Socko in Cannes!

May 23rd, 2007

Friends,

Well, as you may have read by now, our premiere of "Sicko" at the Cannes Film Festival has been an overwhelming success. The 2,000 people inside the Lumiere Theater were alternately in tears and laughing during the two-hour film -- and when it was over, they gave it a standing ovation that seemed to go on for nearly 15 minutes! Many came up to me and said (and critics seem to agree) that this is my best film yet. I don't know about that, and it seems weird to compare any of these movies in the first place. But I do feel safe in saying that I am very, very happy with this film and I can't wait to show it to you when it opens on June 29th.

Cannes is a crazy place. There are film lovers here from nearly every country in the world. And then there are the people in "show business." These dark forces have virtually ruined this art form (invented by the French and nurtured to brilliance by the country I call home). There are so many bad, awful films now and less and less people are going to the movies. Many who run Hollywood believe that the American people are too stupid to enjoy a film that respects their intelligence.

At the press screening for "Sicko," the Wall Street Journal reported that hardened reporters and critics wept. Even those who have been harsh to me in the past, or who have not agreed with my politics, were moved. Aside from my stated desire that "Sicko" ignite a fire for free, universal health care (and a larger wish that we, as Americans, do a better job of treating each other with a true sense of solidarity and respect), I continue to hope that I can make a contribution to the art of cinema and give people a good reason to get out of the house for a few hours.

At my festival press conference, the only negative word came from the Canadians. Two critics didn't like all the nice things I said about their health care system. Yes, Canadian health care has its flaws, but when I asked the two critics if they would exchange their health care cards for mine, they said "No!" Of course they wouldn't. Canadians live longer than we do and their infant mortality is not as high as ours. Their system is underfunded because their leaders have been trying to push for more American-style health care.

The rest of the week has been good and I am now on my way back to the U.S. The New York Post reported Sunday that the Bush administration, in addition to going after me for filming scenes in or near Cuba, may now go after the 9/11 rescue workers I took with me to get the medical care they were denied by our own government. I couldn't make up irony like this if I wanted to, and I will do whatever is necessary to defend the human right of these true American heroes to receive the medical attention they deserve.

We've also received word that the HMO and pharmaceutical industries are gearing up to fight "Sicko." We received so many great whistleblower letters while we were making the movie from employees of these companies. We'd like to hear from you again! Send us the internal memos and any other plans you run across at the company copying machine or internet server. It will help to stay ahead of whatever they are up to, and it will also give us a chance for a bit of fun at the industry's expense.

I will soon have a special section of my website devoted to "Sicko." Until then, we'll move forward toward our June 29th release date. Hope to see you all there that weekend!

Yours,
Michael Moore
michael@michaelmoore.com
MichaelMoore.com

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Cruisin' down The River On A Sunday Afternnon

It seems like every May I vow that this is the year I am going to buy a fishing license and get back to my favorite kind of fishing: floating any number of regional rivers in my beat up aluminum canoe, casting for small mouth bass with surfaace plugs using ultralight tackle.

Granted, the last two summers, it was really beyond my physical endurance to canoe down river with a leg that was still recovering from two surgeries. But I had dropped out of the fishing scene long before the motorcycle accident happened, and frankly, even though I didn't go, I always missed it and yearned to be out there.

To me, there is nothing that brings me closer to the supreme being than being in the great cathedral of nature. Cruising down river, I have encountered beaver, deer, hawks, turtles, ducks, and once even a huge eagle lunching on a fish he had caught. that is the closest I have ever been to that magnificent species. I was no more than ten yards away.

If you are going to do a float trip right, you have to recruit a fishing buddy with a vehicle, have him follow you to the "take out" point, where his vehicle is left over night, and then drive upstream in your own vehicle, canoe riding atop it. I have the necessary equipment to camp overnight somewhere about half way to the take out point: waterproof two man tent, sleeping bags, air mattresses, cooler stocked with fresh eggs, bacon, coffee, beverages, and sandwiches in case you get "skunked" on the first half of the trip and have no fish to fry up for supper. I don't think I have ever experienced a better tasting breakfast than the ones I have prepared over the left over coals of the night before. There is just somethng about taking in all that fresh river air that makes every bite of food incredibly delicious.

I have such great memories of pitched tent, camp fire, the sounds of the river and the night birds mingling with the soft chords of my "river guitar", a huge moon above us lighting the ceiling of nature's cathedral. Catching fish really becomes secondary to the journey itself. I have had great river trips where we didn't raise a fish all day.

I have fished the Yellow river near Cadott, the Jump River above Sheldon, the Chippewa River in several stretches, the Red Cedar below my childhood stomping grounds only a few miles below "Deer Trail Farm" where I was raised, drifting between Menomonie and Downsville and sometimes all the way down to Durand, the Nemakogan River with my late friend Gerald Fitzgerald, the Brule, also with Gerald, and the Black River near Black River Falls as well as below Niellsville. Just typing these river names brings back a rush of sweet memories.

So this summer, no more just thinking about it! I am going to hit the Chippewa River at Cornell with my pal Steve "Roy" (not backwards!) Rogers, and I am going to introduce that hillbilly from North Carolina to some river fishing which is totally different than giggin' for frogs in Dismal Swamp, Jay Moore!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

We Don't Have It, But We Can Get It For You

More and more I have begun to rely on buying goods on line. Some people worry about identity theft but I went ahead and covered my bases by registering with the Federal Trade Commission (www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/microsites/idtheft/) and I cybershop with confidence.

There are some good reasons why I cybershop. Is there anything more irritating than to go into your local retailer, look from aisle to aisle to aisle, finally corner an employee, ask them if they carry what you are looking for and get one of the following: "Gee, I'm sorry but we are presently out of that" or "have you tried such and such a store?", or my all time favorite: "WE DON'T HAVE THAT, BUT I CAN GET IT FOR YOU."

Well, hey, I want to tell the moron, I can GET IT FOR MYSELF!

And I do. In the comfort of my own home without having to fight traffic, spend $4.00 a gallon on fuel, and deal with 'droids who don't understand the concept of keeping shelves stocked.

I swear there have been days when I have been tempted to drive out to the edge of the city and find the sign that announces "Eau Claire, population 65,000", and carefully paint what should be the city slogan below that: "We don't have it, but we can get it for you."

I know what you are thinkiing. I am spending more money than if I bought it locally. Maybe that's true, but to me, it is damn well worth it to know that I can sit at my keyboard, surf through the wonderful world of cybermalls, find exactly what I want, and order it with my pointer finger, rather than go to the mall, battle for a parking place, watch parents fight with screaming kids, and then try to find my car in the parking lot in a downpour.

Yes, it takes a few days for the man in the big brown truck to deliver the goods, and it might cost me a few bucks more to cover shipping and handling, but that's an expense I can deal with. I am at the point where the less I have to deal with real retailers, the better I like it.

Let's see, what have I ordered and received without a hassle recently: guitar strings (buy a dozen sets, get a hell of a discount), guitar stands, guitar tuners, coffee, coffee maker, an FM radio, a really well made leather jacket, rain gear, knives, fishing gear, caps and hats (there is a difference, remember Andy Hyman?), football and baseball jerseys, tickets to concerts, Brewer and Packer games, hotel reservations, air flights, train tickets, magazine subscriptions, well, I think you get the idea.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Favre's Rant Aside, Moss Was Not The Answer

Brett Favre's recent rant aside, I think the Packers were better off not signing Randy Moss. I have spoken with many people about this subject and fans are divided. the "Do Anything To Win" group seems to think that Thompson blew it by letting Moss sign with New England. We shall see.

Randy Moss has much of the same M.O. as Terrell Owens. Neither of them understands that football is a team sport, and both have a lot of growing up to do, which is pretty frightening when you consider their age.

If you ever really watched Moss when he was with the Vikings you observed some interesting phenomena. First, even as he came out of the huddle and lined up, you could tell whether he would be involved in the play or not. At the snap of the ball, he loafed. There's no other way to put it. He loafed! He made no attempt to make believable moves that might keep a defensive back's attention. He just went through the motions.
Blocking? that isn't in his job description. How about catching the ball and not stepping out of bounds, but actually being a hard-nosed player and picking up a few extra feet or yards? Randy is a candy. Why do you think he hasn't gotten severely hurt in the league? Could it be because he tippy toes out of bounds as soon as possible. He would never, by the way, think of going over the middle where the real war zone is.

I know the Pack is in trouble, especially offensively. I am less than impressed with Mr. Thompson. But Randy Moss is not the answer. He is a black hole of negativity and I don't care how good of a leader Brett Favre is. If he missed Moss on a couple of fly patterns, or if the Packers ran the ball once too often, or if we lose a couple of games in a row early in the season, Mr. Sulky will come out to play.

I, for one, will be keeping a close eye on Moss' production with the Patriots this season.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Eat Like Elvis Tour

Spring always spurs wanderlust in my soul. Some of the greatest memories of my life were spawned by that very restless feeling that the warmng sun brings. I can't forget the trip that my good friend Gary Spaeth and I planned out together and entitled "The Eat Like Elvis Tour". If you asked me what year it was, I couldn't tell you exactly, but it had to be at least 15 years ago.

I do remember that it began before Sprng had arrived here in Wisconsin so we drove South in search of it. We rented a 1979 Cadillac sedan that would make Elvis proud, picked up my younger brother Anson who lives down near Milwaukee and headed out for our first official stop, James Dean's grave site in Indiana in time to celebrate Dean's birthday.

I brought along the poor man's epicurian bible: "Road Food, Good Food" and our first scheduled eat-stop was at a really cool 50's style Indiana soda fountain for sustinance. In honor of the King I had a cheeseburger and a cherry phosphate.

Our next stop was Lexington, Kentucky, and the Corvette assemby plant, then on to Clarksville, Tennessee, for our first go round of barbeque. We rolled on to Nashville and visited The Grand Old Opry and took in some country music that evening. I will always remember that Gary knew the pedal steel player in the band, who recognized Gary while on their break. He sat and visited with us for a spell and then got this panicky look on his face and asked Gary: "You're not moving down here, are you?"

I thought that was the greatest compliment the guy could have given Gary. Obviously he had heard Gary's expertise on the steel!

Next day it was on to Memphis. We stopped at a great little cafe outside of town and had the best Southern smoked ham I have ever had the pleasure to wrap my lips around. Our waitress knew we were "not from around here" (I wonder what gave us away?) and wanted to know where we were from and where we were headed. We told her we had just recently visited James Dean's grave and that we were on the way to Graceland. I still smile at her answer: "James Dean? Oh, yeh, he was that purty boy wa'nt he?" Yes Ma'm; from one purty boy on our way to pay homage to another purty boy.

We got in to Memphis early enough to make a trip to Sun Studios. It was memorable because we three were the only ones that took the tour at that time of day. the guide played tapes of Elvis during an actual recording session and we could make out the voices of Jerry Lee Lewis and later Johnny Cash as they dropped by. it was eerie to be in that tiny studio with those voices.

Most of the rest of the day was spent at Graceland. As a youngster I used to listen to Heartbreak Hotel while doing barn chores. I grew up with early rock and roll and this was like being in the Holy Land. It's a long way from the barn to the jungle room.

Having reached the Holy Land, we turned the Caddy north and didn't make many stops, except for a restaurant in Southern Kentucky (I believe), the name of which escapes me but is famous for being "The Home of The Th'owed Roll", an all you can eat joint which featured waiters that would come out of the kitchen with huge baskets of fresh hot rolls. You would wave to the servers and they would zing a roll to you from across the room.

I knew about this, but my younger brother Anson didn't, so after we were seated (I made sure his back was to the kitchen) i waited until the server came out of the kitchen, basket in hand, gave him that "wide receiver, I'm open" wave and the roll whizzed past my little brother's ear and into my hand. I wish you all could have seen the look on his face!

The other special moment was a conversation with a waiter in a diner somewhere down in Dixie. I was having my eggs, grits, hot vegetable, (you always get a hot vegatable down South) and really tasty biscuits and I asked him what kind of biscuits these were. His answer was priceless: "Hell, I dunno! Biscuits is biscuits!"

And road trips is road trips! Hell, I am way overdue!

Officer, Do Your Duty

The cost of speeding has certainly gone up! I discovered this on February 17, 2007, after having met Kim for dinner. I was taking "the short cut" across the Chippewa River on Short Street, which hooks me up with a straight shot down Interstate 94 to my exit on Highway 53 south.

Here's the thing: The speed limit on Short Street used to be 45 mph, but somewhere along the line, they had lowered it to 35 mph. I know what you're thinking: "Oh, here comes his flimsy excuse!" but on the contrary, I was well aware of that change as this is a regular route for me. But this February evening, I just wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going. I do know that I was exceeding the speed limit, but I really couldn't tell you by how much.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the white Eau Claire city cruiser, but by then it was too late. After I pulled it over, the officer asked the obligatory 'do you know how fast you were going' and I truthfully told him that I hadn't checked the speedometer. Then he tells me that he clocked me at 55mph!! (I still find this difficult to believe). so he wrote me a ticket for $211.20. That's nearly an entire bag of groceries!

Later, I tell Mike Schlenker the story and I find out something. Did you know that you can ask to see the radar gun read out? I guess Schlenker is somewhat of an expert on speeding. I wish I had known that! Anyway, that's my "ticket story".

It got me started thinking if I had ever in my life talked my way out of a speeding ticket. Now, I know this is going to sound sexist, but I don't have the right "equipment" to even begin trying to talk my way out of a ticket. Even if I did have that "equipment" , I think factoring in my age would render that point moot.

But then yesterday, as I caught myself with the heavy foot, I remembered back to a return trip from a gig in Iowa City that I DID talk my way out of a ticket! Well, not exactly. But let this serve as a tip. If you ever get stopped this might work for you.

That particular occasion I was working the Sanctuary, a wonderful watering hole for U of Iowa students, and during the third and final set, I could feel the beginnngs of stomach flu setting in. So I finished the gig and thought I would just make a run for home as I would be too sick to be nodding at the wheel.

It's a six hour jaunt, part of it along the Mississippi River. So as the sun is beginning to rise, something else is beginning to try to rise within and I am sweating profusely and praying that I don't "spew" in the van. I am totally miserable and I have got the pedal all the way to the floor because there is very little traffic at dawn along the Mississip.

Sure enough, I look in the rear views and there are the flashing red and blues of the Wisconsin State Patrol but at this point I don't even care. I AM SICK! Please, I think to myself, just give me the damn ticket so I can get the hell out of here.

The officer comes to the window and says the perfect opening line: "What's your hurry?" So I look right at him, ashen gray, and say: "Geez, officer, I know I was speeding. I've got the fluuuuu really bad and I am just trying to get home to bed."

Those words visibly shake him and he takes several steps away from my window. "Well", he says, you were speeding. I suggest you slow down." And he turns tail and makes for his car.

Next time you get stopped, what the hell, it's worth a try, don't you think?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Do We Deserve God's Blessings As Americans?

No matter what you think of the current debacle in Iraq (oops, I guess you now know what I think), it is very difficult for me as a former member of the 128th Red Arrow Infantry Division to not feel a great deal of sympathy for all of the American troops in harms way and particularly the troops from the national guard units of my home state of Wisconsin that are currently in the nightmare situation of not knowing who is going to shoot at them next.

That's why this morning I made a point of getting my butt over to Willie's Army Surplus Store just outside of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, to the second annual "Support Our Troops" day. Good buddy Jay Moore acted as master of ceremonies as they raffled off a whole plethora of goods and services to the fine people who showed up for charcoal chicken, bratwurst (is summer really here??), and all the fixin's including Leinenkugel's beer.

The whole idea of the gathering was to have volunteers boxing up "care packages" to be shipped to our "home boys". Items included simple things that you and I take for granted every day, but are as valuable as gold to the troops in the field: bottled water, beef jerky, local newspapers, hand knitted caps, toilet paper, ball point pens, insta-clear lens cleaners, sanitary hand wipes, nail clippers, various candy bars, packaged socks, packaged condiments, sugar packets, cheetos, tooth brushes, toothpaste, chewing gum, peanuts, and the all-important chapstick.

If you have a soldier you would like to have receive a package, e mail Willie's at:

Willied@ecol.net

with your request. Better yet, if you can make a donation, no matter how large or small, those donations are needed both for postage and for the items that go into the packages.

While you are at it, sit down and write to ALL of your state elected officials and tell them how fed up you are with this criminal war and that you are supporting the troops in the best way possible by insisting that our elected officials BRING THEM HOME.

That is something I have done more than once and I implore you to be a true patriot by joining an ever growing group of disillusioned Americans in doing the same. Only then can we say "God bless America!" without it being hypocritical.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Still Love Motorcycles From a Distance

A motorcycle accident will give you pause. Two motorcycle accidents will not only give you pause, but will give you a noticeable limp, and a different outlook on what life you have left.

I guess the first accident was not severe enough. After all, all I did was crack my left tibia by clipping a large chunk of semi-truck tire that was concealed by darkness. It put me in a walking cast for several months.

Admttedly, it kept me from riding for several years. I even sold the cherry red, fully lowered, white-walled Harley-Davidson Fatboy that I had been riding when the accident occurred. But if you have ever been a rider, you know how difficult it can be to get through Spring in Wisconsin without the ability to ride the country roads, the smell of life returning to the soil, the still-cold wind across your face.

So, I thought, what trouble could I get into buying a Honda 650 Shadow? It was a beautiful little bike, with lines similar to a Harley, in an unusual burnt orange finish.

I ran the country roads, always wearing my helmet, for nearly three weeks. Then on a Sunday morning, after having worked a gig with my band at Lehman's Supper Club in Rice Lake, and knowing I needed to make that deposit to cover the checks I had written for the band, I hopped on the bike and thought: "it's only a couple of miles to RCU from here, I won't be going more than 25mph, I don't need a helmet" and I set out.

When I regained consciousness I was staring at the ceiling of the ICU in Luther Hospital wondering what the hell happened. And do you know to this day I still don't know.

From what I can surmise, I left the road (probably because an automobile was moving into my lane and I was in the blind spot) and jumped the curb, striking a glancing blow off a telephone pole. I can tell from the damage to my body that I had begun to turn away from the pole as the break in my right leg is to the outside; the same side that I suffered a pretty sound concussion.

There were, oddly, no witnesses, and none came forward. I received a traffic ticket to put salt in my wounds.

Here I am, nearly three Summers later, with two operations to show for it, the second to completely replace my knee. Oh, I am not whining and complaining, believe me. I should be dead. Every day I give thanks that I am still here.

Out of the experience came a greater appreciation of my wife, Kim, and all my friends who have been so supportive of me through some pretty rough times.

I will never run again, but my running days were nearly past anyway. Will I ever ride a motorcycle again? Nope! do I miss it?
With the weather the way it has been this week, ya damn betcha!

I Yield My Blog Space to Mr Moore Today

From the pen of Mr. Michael Moore:

It's a wrap! My new film, "Sicko," is all done and will have its world premiere this Saturday night at the Cannes Film Festival. As with "Bowling for Columbine" and "Fahrenheit 9/11," we are honored to have been chosen by this prestigious festival to screen our work there.

My intention was to keep "Sicko" under wraps and show it to virtually no one before its premiere in Cannes. That is what I have done and, as you may have noticed if you are a recipient of my infrequent Internet letters, I have been very silent about what I've been up to. In part, that's because I was working very hard to complete the film. But my silence was also because I knew that the health care industry -- an industry which makes up more than 15 percent of our GDP -- was not going to like much of what they were going to see in this movie and I thought it best not to upset them any sooner than need be.

Well, going quietly to Cannes, I guess, was not to be. For some strange reason, on May 2nd the Bush administration initiated an action against me over how I obtained some of the content they believe is in my film. As none of them have actually seen the film (or so I hope!), they decided, unlike with "Fahrenheit 9/11," not to wait until the film was out of the gate and too far down the road to begin their attack.

Bush's Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson, launched an investigation of a trip I took to Cuba to film scenes for the movie. These scenes involve a group of 9/11 rescue workers who are suffering from illnesses obtained from working down at Ground Zero. They have received little or no help with their health care from the government. I do not want to give away what actually happens in the movie because I don't want to spoil it for you (although I'm sure you'll hear much about it after it unspools Saturday). Plus, our lawyers have advised me to say little at this point, as the film goes somewhere far scarier than "Cuba." Rest assured of one thing: no laws were broken. All I've done is violate the modern-day rule of journalism that says, "ask no questions of those in power or your luncheon privileges will be revoked."

This preemptive action taken by the Bush administration on the eve of the "Sicko" premiere in Cannes led our attorneys to fear for the safety of our film, noting that Secretary Paulson may try to claim that the content of the movie was obtained through a violation of the trade embargo that our country has against Cuba and the travel laws that prohibit average citizens of our free country from traveling to Cuba. (The law does not prohibit anyone from exercising their first amendment right of a free press and documentaries are protected works of journalism.)

I was floored when our lawyers told me this. "Are you saying they might actually confiscate our movie?" "Yes," was the answer. "These days, anything is possible. Even if there is just a 20 percent chance the government would seize our movie before Cannes, does anyone want to take that risk?"

Certainly not. So there we were last week, spiriting a duplicate master negative out of the country just so no one from the government would take it from us. (Seriously, I can't believe I just typed those words! Did I mention that I'm an American, and this is America and NO ONE should ever have to say they had to do such a thing?)

I mean, folks, I have just about had it. Investigating ME because I'm trying to help some 9/11 rescue workers our government has abandoned? Once again, up is down and black is white. There are only two people in need of an investigation and a trial, and the desire for this across America is so widespread you don't even need to see the one's smirk or hear the other's sneer to know who I am talking about.

But no, I'm the one who now has to hire lawyers and sneak my documentary out of the country just so people can see a friggin' movie. I mean, it's just a movie! What on earth could I have placed on celluloid that would require such a nonsensical action against me?

Ok. Scratch that.

Well, I'm on my way to Cannes right now, a copy of the movie in my bag. Don't feel too bad for me, I'll be in the south of France for a week! But then it's back to the U.S. for a number of premieres and benefits and then, finally, a chance for all of you to see this film that I have made. Circle June 29th on your calendar because that's when it opens in theaters everywhere across the country and Canada (for the rest of the world, it opens in the fall).

I can't wait for you to see it.

Yours,

Michael Moore

P.S. I will write more about what happens from Cannes. Stay tuned on my website, MichaelMoore.com.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Bush: Arrogant Poseur

Because I am a collector of diecast military aircraft, while surfing the other day I came across an ad for a 12 inch "Top Gun George Bush" figurine, clad in a flight suit which the site touted as a replica of the one he wore when he landed on the aircraft carrier and declared "Mission Accomplished".

So I did some reading up on our gallant hero. Most of us know that he joined the Texas Air National Guard as a means of escaping active duty in Viet Nam. He, in fact, didn't even finish his tour of duty as a guardsman.

Did you know that on the day he "flew" to the carrier for his ultimate photo op, he did a flyby of the carrier and then turned the controls over to a real pilot to land the aircraft?

As an army veteran, it turns my stomach to have Bush wear the uniform of men who have died and are still dying defending this country just to stage a cheap publicity stunt. This wreaks of arrogance and I think it shows just how little he values our fighting men.

These are difficult days to be a true American and a true patriot. But more than ever, we need to start speaking the truth without fear.

I was pleasantly surprised to read the following statement from a member of our coporatocracy:

"Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right off a cliff. We've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.
But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say 'stay the course'. So let's shake off this horseshit and go to work. Let's tell them all we've had enough." That, my friends, from none other than Lee Iococca.

And he's right. If we don't start making an effort to change direction through our vote, then we deserve what we get.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

More Than Just a Brush With Greatness: Perla Batalla

Sometmes I forget how very fortunate I am to have found my way into my life's work. Let's set aside the wonders of performing for appreciative audiences, the warmth of stage lights, the camaraderie of being surrounded by musicians whose talents are far and above my own as a guitar player, the ever-fresh excitement of playing a new venue, the respect garnered from really good people who think that I have something of value to offer an audience, and concentrate today on real artists for whom I have been fortunate to have served as opening act.

I could rattle off a list of some pretty impressive names, but you can read about them elsewhere on my site under "brushes with greatness". Don't misunderstand. Those occasions were exciting, but I canot say that they were personal to me, because they were, as I said, nothing more than brushes with greatness.

There is one artist, however, that I will always hold dear to my heart, not only because she has an incredibly expressive voice and really knows how to relate to an audience, but is the most down-to-earth gracious woman I have ever been privileged to meet and actually share a little time with.

Perla Batalla might not be a "household" name to many, but those of us who have heard her sing will never forget her. I have been following her career though her website (www.perla.com) ever since I was honored with the responsibility of opening for her at The Stone's Throw in Eau Claire many years ago.

I was at the club for sound check the afternoon she arrived and as soon as she walked in the room, everyone there knew they were in the presence of greatness and authenticity. She looks you right in the eye when she speaks to you and there is no doubt that she really is interested in you as a person.

I remember that it was about this time of year when she came to Eau Claire, having flown in to the Twin Cities and coming with her band to the show by rental car. We, as Wisconsin folk, know what a paradise this state is when at last the snow is gone, the temperatures are in the mid 60's by day, and we have had those first slow, soaking rains, that seemingly overnight turn everything emerald green.

Perla is a California woman and she was struck with the beauty she observed on the drive down from the airport. Perla's openness and warmth led me to ask her road manager if Perla and she would like to stay overnight at my "office" bungalow rather than face the sterility of yet another night in a hotel.

I was surprised and delighted when they both accepted my invitation and I told them it was a deal then, but only if I could make them one of my pizzas after the show.

Perla's show was riveting. She has an ability to move flawlessly from one emotion to another. I had planned on catching just a few tunes and then heading home to start pizza preparations, but I couldn't leave.

When my guests arrived, the fresh basil and fresh tomato pizza was in the oven. Suffice to say we had a great hour or so visiting over pizza and as I made my way over to the house afterwards in the dark, I think the glow I had probably lit up the entire neighborhood.

In the morning there were made-from-scratch buttermilk pancakes and then they were gone. Gone physically, perhaps, but Perla's memory is alive and well within. Want to experience Perla's incredible voice? You can order her CD's right from her website at www.perla.com. And I hope I am not being too bold in suggesting that your first purchase be: The Bird On A Wire: Perla Batalla, The Songs of Leonard Cohen". Cue up the title song, put on some really good head phones and prepare to be moved deeply!

Perla, wherever you are performing tonight: I love you!

Gas Is giving Me Gas

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


Gas Is giving Me Gas
Current mood: aggravated
Category: vaguely amused News and Politics

How much is unleaded gas going for per gallon where you live? Before you answer that, you had best blow ten dollars on fuel to drive to the nearest gas station to check the latest posting because it could have changed since yesterday. And rest assured, it won't have changed for the better unless you define "the better" as a price hike because you are a CEO with a major fuel corporation.

I got a sick kick out of watching fuel prices steadily drop as we got closer to elections last November, amazed that those in power think that Americans are stupid enough to think that, well, maybe they should vote Republican because prices ARE dropping.

Now here in West Central Wisconsin, (last time I checked) unleaded regular now stands at $3.29.9 a gallon and I have no doubt that by July 4 we will have surpassed the $4.00 mark. It's important to reach that $4 mark so that come next election, when we could be back to paying $3.29 a gallon again, we will all be so relieved and excited about the low prices of fuel.

Now before you start writing me hate mail, I will tell you that perhaps this is the only way that Amricans are going to start insisting that their elected officials legislate more efficent engines and alternate fuels, and we begin buying small, fuel efficient autos instead of gas guzzling Hummers (sorry about your penis!)

Want to stop "just sitting there on the sidelines?"

Highlight the following web address, copy it, paste it in your browser!

http://action.truemajority.org/campaign/fuel_standards

THE REVOLUTION STARTS NOW WITH EACH OF US OVERCOMING INERTIA!

Perhaps this whole farce will bring the revolution to fruition that this country needs so desperately.

I would find politicians of either party amusing if they weren't so damn self serving. As an entertainer, I do a lot of corporate conventions and banquets and I am always dumbfounded with the attitudes of those who are supposed to be serving us.
They will tell whatever group they are speaking to exactly what they think that group wants to hear, then move down the road to the next group and tell them exactly what they want to hear.

I want to finish with a politician story, One of my duly elected local officials bought my "Rude, Crude, and Poor" CD's. He paid for it by check. In the memo portion of the check he wrote: "Larry Heagle Benefit". I would guess that was so he could claim it as a tax deduction?
So I rushed right down to my local pharmacy and bought a gross of Viagra and I wrote in the memo area: " Mrs. Larry Heagle Benefit".

Currently listening :
Fair & Square
By John Prine
Release date: By 26 April, 2005

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Father's Day is Coming And I Am a Proud Pops!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Father's Day Is Coming and I'm a Proud Pops!
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

With Father's Day just around the corner, I want to take a minute to take stock in my two sons, both of whom I am extremely proud. They came from a broken home while they were still quite young and spent a couple of years too far away for me to even be able to visit them.

Their mother and I do not have a good relationship. We never really did have a good relationship and I can't help but think that our relationship has made both my sons a bit gun shy of getting in to a long term relationship with a woman. But they are good men.

Jon, the older of the two, steadfastly has followed his dream of becoming a first rate lead guitarist and a song writer. After graduating from the University of Indiana, his first job was with the Barnum circus. He played in the circus orchestra and toured all over the United States, finally hanging it up as they came through Minneapolis. He then ventured to New York City, which in my estimation, takes a lot of heart and courage to compete in the music business at that level. He was in a wonderful surf band called The Irreversible Slacks. they produced an album and I have played the grooves right off that CD. All the tunes were original compositions and they had a big following in NYC, working some of the best rooms in the city including CBGB's and Windows On The World in the ill fated Trade Tower.

He left the band to go with his then-fiancee to support her while she worked on her masters degree at the U of Texas, Austin. He got his heart broken down there when she returned the ring. He continued to work as a temp and hooked up with several country bands, but never really adjusted to the Texas life style and eventually returned to NYC.

He currently is working in a faux French rock band called "Les Sans Culottes", for which he not only plays lead, but contributes his song writing skills. Recently they did a whirlwind tour of Los Angeles and San Francisco. You can find articles and schedules about what Jon is doing at www.lessanculotte.com.

David, three years younger than Jon, is also blessed with a great deal of musical ability. His skills lie in using the computer to develop highly intricate rhythmical pieces that are embellished with big screen imaging and he has produced CD's that are doing well on the independent market. He has gained a reputation not only nationally, but also internationally as he has performed repeatedly in England and Japan. Most recently he wrote and produced the music for a commercial for the Ford Motor Corporation of England. He was invited to London for the fnal "tweaking" and then attended the European Auto Expo in Switzerland.

You can find him on the net at: davidlast.net.

Am I inordinately proud of my sons? I don't think so. I am thankful that I have lived this long; long enough to see some of their hopes and dreams come to fruition and to encourage them to realize that they are really just getting started! Over night sensations do not happen over night. To be a success means holding fast to your dream and pursuing it doggedly.

Their attitude makes every Father's Day a happy one for me!

Currently listening :
Le Weekender
By Les Sans Culottes
Release date: By 01 May, 2007

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Father's Day Gathering Features Old Friends

Mike Quick, Robert "One Man" Johnson and I are all really looking forward to our two gigs together this coming June 17 and June 19. June 17 (Father's Day evening) we will be taking turns presenting songs at Sammy's Pizza, London Road, Eau Claire from 6PM to 9PM.

It will be a very relaxed "Austin City Limits" type presentation, with all three performers on stage for the entire evening, just taking turns, talking about and singing original tunes from our respective albums.

Robert Johnson is by far the most prolific writer of the three of us, Having produced 8 albums since 1976. You can read up on Robert at his web site: www.housedogmusic.com.

Mike just released his first solo album "Down Bullfrog Road" in 2004, featuring all his own compositions with musical backing from the cream of Chippewa Valley's musicians. Before that, he was a member of the very popular group "The Mighty Bullfrogs". You can read all about Mike on his web site at: www.mikequick.net.

My contributions were put into two CD's in 2002: "Larry Heagle:Rude, Crude, and Poor", and "Irish Heart". Like Mike, I was fortunate enough to recruit some really fine players from the Chippewa Valley to give my songs some color and depth.

Ah, the stories we could tell! and probably will during the course of the two performances. I first met Bob Johnson while we were both students at the UWEC. Bob came down to Eau Claire from his home town of Rhinelander and I was just out of six months National Guard Training.

Along with another Rhinelanderian, Jim Zerenner, Robert and I formed "The Freedom Singers" and sang folk music at any and all occasions we could find. It was, after all, the early 60's and the "folk scare" was in full bloom. We traveled in my older brother's hand-me-down 1954 two door, two tone, green Chevrolet. It was really a hoot just getting Jim's huge string bass into the car. There was room for one of us in the back seat, and the neck of the bass jutted between the driver and passenger seat in the front.

Those Rhinelander boys could sure drink beer! We would play gigs in Antigo or Hayward and they would insist on hitting every road house on the way back to Eau Claire. I would sleep in the car while they had "one" beer, and then we would move on down the road to the next neon sign.

Zerenner had a pet phrase he would always say as he struggled to climb in the back seat with the bass proper: "I love my mother, but I'd sell her for a jump tonight!"

Eventually Jim graduated and moved on to law school and Robert (perhaps because his name is, after all, Robert Johnson) discovered the blues and outgrew me. You will discover when you listen to him in June, that his writing reflects both folk music and the blues.

Mike? well, Michael was still "wet behind the ears" in the 60's, but both Bob and I became fast friends of his and fans of his writing ability when he appeared on the scene, back from San Diego, California.

We decided, in 1987, to do a songwriters concert at the then Gnu Dehli, just off N. Barstow Street. It was a wonderul evening and obviously one that none of us have forgotten so we are doing it again. We all hope you will join the three "mature" guys as they try to re-capture their fleeting youth, albeit just for two evenings!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Experience Is The Best Teacher

My good friend and fellow song writer/performer, Robert "One Man" Johnson e mailed me recently suggesting that we and other friends "our age" begin to complile our accumulated knowlege, wisdom, and admonitions for younger generations to heed and learn from.

Here are the first of Robert's offerings:
Step back from the mirror when you are flossing your teeth.
Step forward to the urinal. Pride is a sin.
Never wear a white shirt to an Italian restaurant.
Don't put sharp knives into soapy dish water.
Don't touch your nose after cutting up jalepeno peppers.
Check for toilet paper before you sit down.

To that I added:

Never trust a fart.
Never ignore an erection.
Never pass up a rest area while traveling.
Don't apply toothpaste to your toothbrush in the dark;
(I did ONCE. It was Preparation H.)
Upside: my gums stopped bleeding.
Don't ask an over weight woman how long ago she had the baby. She just may be over weight!

Bob sent me two more:
Don't leave your contact lenses in a glass of water.
Never use silverware to retrive your toast from the toaster.

Here are some from my days as a farm boy:
Don't spread manure in high gear.
Don't bother the guy with the rubber glove while he is working.
Never, ever pee on an electric fence.
Don't stand behind a cow with a cough.
Don't lick the frost off the pump handle.
Where there is one bumble bee, there are many others.

All right! Robert has started the "ball of experience" rolling! These are just in from Russ Blixt:

The world is lived in subtlety.
Only three things to avoid: jealousy, greed, and revenge.
Cold water, not hot, dilutes blood stains.
Dead worms or nightcrawlers generate the worst smell on earth.
All extension cords will turn into a knot when you try to unravel a coil.
Beauty, intelligence and nice CAN all go together in one package!

I was just thinking and:

I have found that people who cannot relax and laugh at themselves cannot be trusted.
Whichever end of a fresh garbage bag you are trying to find the opening to, it is always the other end.
My car keys are always in the pocket located just below the arm laden with the large bag of groceries I am carrying.
The old saying is "money talks". My money only knows one word: 'goodbye'.
If you steal ideas from many it is called research. If you steal ideas from one it is called parallel development.
Being Catholic is to know the haunting fear that somone somewhere may be happy.
Sad, the correct use of the adverb in Americans daily usage, is dying.
You can tell a Lutheran is enjoying a joke by the way he shakes his head in disgust.
The words 'caps' and 'hats' cannot be used interchangeably. Caps have bills; hats have brims. There is no such thing as a baseball hat or a cowboy cap.

After posting this latest blog, I received the following from my good friend and very talented radio announcing friend, Jay Moore:

I beg to disagree with you about the cowboy cap. Most of the real working cowboys I knew in Wyoming wore caps. I asked my farrier, Rollin Trumble ("Whatcha up to, Rollin?" "Five foot six in heels.") why he and most of the guys wore caps when they were working. At the time, I was all duded up in my jeans, cowboy shirt and 10 gallon hat. Rollin looked at me and said, "Just don't want nobody mistakin' me for a disc jockey." True story.

shantyboy

Also received the following from "Shantyboy":

Jerry Falwell died of heart failure. What a surprise. Amazed at the suggestion he had one!


(Well, maybe that comment didn't really belong in this particular blog, but the other one he sent certainly does):
"Kiss slowly. Laugh insanely. Love truly. Forgive quickly."

Admonitions from Sylvia (although she's not old):
Watch your step.
Go easy on the Wasabi.
Always check for the airsickness bag before take-off.
Check your zipper.
Check your teeth after eating green stuff.
Remember your age and leave the skateboarding to those who heal quickly.
The songs you listened to in HS are now the oldies for the kids who are now in HS, get over it.


Other, more serious advice:
Visit your relatives, even if it feels obligatory.
Stay in touch with friends.
Don't dwell on your regrets; rather learn a lesson from them.
Be a good listener.
It's never too late to say... Yes it is. Don't let time pass without saying what needs to be said.
Own a pet. It will add humor to life.
Listen to your gut. That uneasy feeling is there for a reason.
Watch and remember great movies.
Listen to music.
Dance
Take care of yourself. You only have one of you.
Remember that life is short and take advantage of opportunities whenever you can.
Take time to notice the little things.
Smile.

And this just in from my Brookfield, Wisconsin friend, Jude Torgeson:
Always take your husband/wife with you on business trips. That way you won't have to kiss them goodbye.

Unhappily, impetuous steps and sides are taken when we are young. Only too late do we figure life out.

Here's an appropriate observation from my brother John, after digging in his garden of a Spring day:
"I hurt, therefore I am."

And another:
"The elderly are our greatest source of natural resources:
we have gold in our teeth
gas in our stomaches
and lead in our feet."

Thought of another this morning:
If you are 35 and you say you subsribed to Playboy magazine "for the articles" you are lying.
If you are 65 and you say you subscribed to Playboy magazine "for the articles" you are telling the truth.




I invite anyone who wants to add their own life experiences, advice and admonitions to this particular blog, as we can all learn from one another.

Who's In Charge Here???

Disconcerting antecdotes from a Washington D.C. airline ticket agent who comes into contact almost daily with our "highly intelligent" elected officials:

"I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her
look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts;
Capetown is in Africa." Her response - click

An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had
only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car
to drive between gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to
Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally,
I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have numbers on them."

A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah, whatever, smarty!"

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he
said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and every time they
have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to
go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for
words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes,
what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I
came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady
retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your
map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it
was a big animal."

Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!"

Not that Americans are much more intelliegent in the private sector. These next anecdotes are from my own personal experiences with fellow Americans.

I was at Yellowstone Park with a group of tourists, waiting for the Yellowstone geyser to "do its thing". When it came time and the steam and water spurted high into the air and then subsided, a woman in front of me said: "Is that all it does?"

While visiting the Coliseum in Rome, I heard an American exclaim: "I didn't realize the Nazis did so much damage during the war."

And finally, while a park ranger was explaining what an intelligent society the cliff dwelling Indians of the great Southwest were, a lady asked: "If they were so intelligent, why didn't they build closer to the highway?"

Tick Song: Setting The Record Straight

So have you heard Brad Paisley's Tick Song? I hadn't either until it was brought to my attention when people began telling me, upon hearing The Wood Tick Song: "You stole that idea from Brad Paisley". So I would like to let everyone know and understand something. The original wood tick song was written by yours truly on June 2, 2002. It was registered with BMI at the same time that I recorded it. The only thing the two songs have in common are the words "check you for ticks", which, unfortunately are not enough for me to sue Mr. Paisley.

One of the treacheries of being a writer is the piracy of written ideas. It is somewhat frustrating that this has happened, but as I say, according to law, there were not enough lyrics stolen to call it plagarism or thievery of intellectual property. The only fact I can state (again) is that I thought of the idea FIRST, as witnessed by the copyright of June, 2002.

It has been gratifying, however, that several of my fans have contacted my manager, Liz Fischer, angered by Paisley's recording, in that they have my CD and know that the song has been out for quite a while.

We even had one fan from the Rhinelander, Wisconsin, area, intimate that Brad Paisley had appeared at the Hodag Country Festival the summer before his tick song came out and that "he must have heard it on the radio while he was here and stole the idea!"

Brad Paisley appeared several months ago on the Imus in the Morning Show and performed the song. My manager heard that broadcast and immediately contacted Imus' people and asked if she might send them a copy of my song, the intention being that perhaps they would be interested in having me appear on the show as well.

She sent the CD out and it wasn't but a week later that Mr. Imus torpedoed his own show with the "nappy-headed Ho's" line. I want my copy of the CD back!

How much fun do you think it would be to be opening act for Mr. Paisley and finish the set with my version of the Wood Tick Song?

Hey! It could happen. I am being considered as MC for the Chippewa Valley CountryFest next summer.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Two Wild and Crazy Irish Guys

My pal, Jay Moore, born and raised in North Carolina, (a humble valley between two arrogant mountains) has spent most of his adult life doing DJ work all over the country. We have a mutual admiration society, but I know better than to talk politics with him as he is diametrically opposed to most of my beliefs, but we are living proof that Americans should be able to be friends even though they don't always agree.

He has really gone out of his way to assist my career by playing "The Wood Tick Song" starting April Fool's Day through Labor Day. He called me early one morning to tell me that he had just finished playing the song when he got a call from an over the road trucker out on Interstate 94 who said: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???"

Just to let him know I appreciate all he has done to further my career in the area, I am taking him to the Packer/Carolina game on November 18, 2007, in Green Bay, as he has never been to the hallowed grounds of the frozen tundra. He is a huge Carolina Panther fan so it should be fun. We will be heading over to the Appleton area on Saturday for our lodging as it is impossible to get lodging in Green Bay on game weekends.

I also want to mention that you can catch Jay Moore's morning show (6AM -10AM) at 106.7 on your radio dial and if you live out of the area, you can pick up the broadcast by computer. I am not entirely certain HOW, but I would suspect that if you type WATQ Moose Country 106.7 in your favorite search engine, that would be the first step.

Today's blog bonus: (don't read any further if you are a "Faith Based Christian")

A Mother's Day Story?

I ended up with a nice woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good
for a 62-year-old. We drank a bit, and a had a bit of a dance and she
asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

I said, "No."

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"









You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
Sunday, May 13, 2007


Adrenaline Junkie Says Thanks!
Current mood: high
Category: very grateful Jobs, Work, Careers

It's 3:09 in the morning and I should be in bed, but I am back from doing a night of comedy to a packed house at the Coral Bowling Lanes in Rothschild, Wisconsin, next door neighbor to Wausau, and the adrenaline, natural drug of the Gods, is pumping through my veins and I am really high! Damn! I had a good time! Know why? the audience had a good time, too.

I sometimes wonder if people realize how important their attitudes are to a live performer. It really can be likened to making love: the more you give, the more you get. The set went by in a flash.

It was so nice to see famiiar faces from shows I did back in the '90's at the Parlor Car, the Midway Motor Lodge, and even the Mead Inn down in Rapids. To all the folks who showed tonight and made it a success: THANK YOU! You guys guaranteed me a return spot down the road!

On the drive home, I stopped at a truck stop outside Abbotsford to grab a cup of Jo and some breakfast and visited with two policemen from Abbotsford/Colby. When I told them I was a comedian they didn't believe me so I went and got the guitar and did The Vasectomy and Wood Tick Song for the lawmen.

As I finished driving home it occured to me that I really love my work (if you can call it that) and that I need to be doing a lot more of it than I am as I ain't gettin' any younger!

Deep down I feel that there are a lot of good things coming my way career-wise. I just have to keep my eye on the ball!

Oh. And Happy Mother's Day! I sure miss mine today.

Currently reading :
Flyboys: A True Story of Courage
By James Bradley
Release date: By 30 September, 2003

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Rude Cell Phone Users Suck!

Yesterday I said I was going to spew about the rude behavior of cell phone users. don't misconstrue me; I am no cell phone Luddite. I accept that they are a vauable asset to the 21st Century, but how about some common sense and courtesy? my wife, Kim, says it best: "Why can't people be where they are?"

You no doubt, as we, have witnessed people having dinner together but not really having dinner together because one of them is on the cell phone while the other is basically eating dinner alone. I once observed a man who I assume was in town registering his daughter for school at UWEC and he was on the phone for the entire time they were at the table! Why can't people be where they are?

As a performer, I am always prepared for the yahoo who forgot to turn his cell phone off before the show. I remember one instance where there was a woman right down front and her phone started ringing about ten minutes into the show. (and it's never just a normal "telephone" sound; it's 5 minutes of damn electronic gibberish!) I said: "Why don't you put that thing on vibrate and stick it in a happy place."

Was that a bad thing?

Why do people talk at a high volume when they are on a cell phone? I guess they think that it must be like the two cans attached to one another by a piece of string thing. You can use your normal volume and be heard. did you know that? Nobody else in the resturant (or rest room) really cares to hear that you are currently having a knock-down-drag-out with the spouse.

My son David, who lives in Brooklyn, NY, and works downtown Manhattan has taken to interrupting loud conversations. One day he overheard one side of what was obviously a heated argument between a woman and her mate and he loudly said to her: "Don't let him talk to you like that!"

She got all self righteously indignant and turned to him and said: "Mind your own business. this is a private conversation!" then she realized how stupid that really sounded and hung up the phone and left.

You can always tell when you are driving behind someone who is talking on a cell phone. They drive like they have been drinking. They are always the ones that take enough time to make that left arrow turn so that by the time you get up there, the arrow is red!

Personally, I think there really should be a law that says you can't talk on a cell phone in a moving vehicle. If you must take a call in the car, pull over and take it at the side of the road, okay?

Do I have a cell phone? Yes. It's a pay-as-you-go phone and I only use it when it is really necessary. How about you?

First Blog I Ever Wrote

http://www.howmanyofme.com/search/

Welcome to the newest addition to my web site, the Larry Heagle blog. So I clicked on the url above just to see "how many of me" there are in the United States and was quite surprised to find that there are only TWO! Didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read about the OTHER Larry Heagle of Kankakee, Illinois. You see, that Larry is even more morally bankrupt than yours truly! (I know, fans, that's hard to believe!?) THAT Larry had to resign from his job as school custodian because his superiors found pornography on his shop computer. Oh, not just pornography, my friends, but CHILD pornography!

That's what we need in the public schools .. a janitor who is a potential child molester. Excuse me while my skin crawls!

In case you missed it, another of my birthdays went whizzing by last month. The cool thing about having your birthday fall on "Tax Day" is that more people send mail on my birthday than any other day in the year. None of it is for me, of course, but good old Uncle Sammy is absolutely deluged.

You know what's nice about getting older?


Not a damn thing!!!!!

Well, now that I think about it, there are some perks. When you get to be my age, you no longer care what people think about you. You just don't give a shit! You can be a curmudgeon and get away with it. You don't have to open doors for young women any more. In fact the other day, I had one open the door for me.

Now that I am older, I can go into McDonald's and when that kid asks me if he can take my order, I just bellow: "NO! Get away from me you pimply-faced little bastard. I'll tell you when I'm ready to order and I don't want any supersizes, ya sonsabitches!"

This attitude first came to light when I worked a nursing home gig. There was one of the residents sitting where I wanted to put a speaker so I asked my hostess to ask him to move. She went over and had the following conversation:
"Mr. Johnson, would you mind moving so that Mr. Heagle can put his speaker here?

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

"Oh, Mr. Johnson! You don't mean that!"

"YES I DO! HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

So she came back over to me and said: "I'm afraid Mr. Johnson's having a bad day."

And I said: "No, I think he knows me."

Did you hear the news? Dubbya and Condoleeeeeeza are in the hospital with concussions. It seems that when they bent over to kiss Cheney's ass, they banged heads. (C'mon. I kid the administration. It's just a joke.)

You know you are getting older when .. (and this was an actual experience)

a woman said to me: "I'll bet you were something in your day."






Sign above my office toilet: " A message from Wayne LaPierre, Executive VP, NRA: The shorter the barrel, the less the accuracy. Perhaps you should sit."
lheagle@larryheagle.com

Compiled blogs

It's early Saturday afternoon, May 12, and I am already starting to feel the adrenaline that gathers on the day of a show starting to pump into my system as I go over the inventory of what I will need to do the show tonight at The Coral Bowling Lanes , Schofield, Wisconsin.

This summer's supply of wood tick tee shirts arrived yesterday, so in addition to bringing CD's, I will be loading them up to peddle as well.

Tonight's show is being billed as a "Mother's Day" show .."bring your mother out for an evening of comedy". My own mother, little Alice, who died not so long ago, is heavy on my mind this weekend. I have so my great memories of a great little lady. I used to go over to the farm on that big old Harley Fatboy and take her out for long, slow rides through the rural countryside south of the farm where we could drink in the soft sweet smell of wisconsin Spring and watch as wild turkeys, pheasants, and deer crossed in front of us.

Alice was a wonder. When I was a boy she would be a part of the feeding and milking of the cows and then somehow when we all came up to the house, she would have waiting for us a hearty feast of home made buttermilk pancakes, home made pork sausage, scrambled eggs, fresh milk from our own dairy, thick with cream on the top, and her own home made biscuits.

It is from her and her family's lineage that I got my talent as a musician as all the Wetzels were players. When she was a girl, Alice was in an orchestra with her four sisters. she played violin. I wish she had kept at it. I never heard her play.

She was/is so proud of me. she used to come out and listen to the band every time we played of a Sunday down at T.J.'s Inn in Downsville where we set up the sound system and jammed all afternoon for the right reason: to make music! Didn't get paid. Well, yes, we did. John Widmar kept us in pitchers of beer and sandwiches. Good times! Great memories!

Compiled blogs

Friday, May 11, 2007


Signal Lights: What a Concept!
Current mood: amused
Category: stunned Life

Is it just a phenomenon characteristic of western Wisconsin? Drivers around here do NOT signal their intention to turn, or if they do, they flip the signal lever just as they begin to make the turn. I guess the overall sentiment is: "I know where I am going, but why the hell should I tell you?"

I was at a dealership the other day when a gentleman walked up to the crew chief and told him that he had a signal light that had burned out and needed a replacement. The chief replied: "you're not from around here are you."

He wasn't.

I liken those who don't signal to baseball . Have you ever seen a ball game where there's a runner on second and the next batter hits a hard grounder back to the pitcher? The pitcher "looks" the runner back to second base, holding him there, before he throws the runner out at first.

If you are at a stop sign and there is a car approaching with the right of way,and he doesn't signal in advance, he's basically doing the same thing as the pitcher; he's holding you on base until he makes his move to turn right in front of you.

Irritating as hell, isn't it?

It makes me use foul language and SIGNAL him with rude gestures! BUT, as John Cougar Menstralcramp says: "Ain't that America?"

Tomorrow let's talk about rude cell phone use.

Currently listening :
The Joe Locke / Geoffrey Keezer Group - Live In Seattle
By Joe Locke
Release date: By 25 July, 2006

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Look Out, Wausau! Here I Come!
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Blogging

My thanks to any and all the radio sations out there who are giving "The wood Tick Song" a spin now that it is Spring and the little buggers are out in force. A very special thank you to Mr. Jay Moore, the morning deejay at 106.7 FM, Eau Claire, who was the first to take a chance on me!


So far, I have managed to corral and flush down the toilet four ticks before they could do the vampire thing.



The first Summer that the song was out on the market, I was at The Joynt on Water Street in Eau Claire and the discussion turned to the song. It seems everybody has a tick story. My favorite that night was told by a guy's wife who said her husband had a tick affixed to his penis for over four days before he discovered it was there!

She said:"His penis began to swell up .. and not in a GOOD way!!"

Someone sent me a url that makes reference to my song: www.answers.com/topic/wood-tick and I also received another e mail with a url about vasectomies where all the lyrics to my tune are recited. That url is: www.railheaddesign.blogspot.com/2005/10/yuck-or-someone-make-them-stop.html.

I still get a chuckle when I think back to the night that, just after writing The Vasectomy Song, I sang it to my mom, Alice Wetzel Heagle. When I finished singing it, she said: "It's such a nice song, I just wish it was about something else."

If you live in the Wausau, Wisconsin, area, tomorrow night I will be performing, amongst others, those two songs at the Coral Bowling Lanes in Schofield, just down the street from my favorite pizza joint, Sam's Pizza.

Currently reading :
Jesse James: Last Rebel of the Civil War
By T.J. Stiles
Release date: By 17 September, 2002

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Thursday, May 10, 2007


I'm a Comedian, but In My Spare Time, I Think!
Current mood: angry
Category: fed up with Bushies News and Politics

Watched Bill Mahrer's Real Time again last night with his guests Harold Ford, Jr., Sean Penn, and Gary Shandling who said a line I can really identify with: "I'm a comedian, but in my spare time, I think about things and I get really upset." (or something to that effect).

It was a great show and Sean Penn got the biggest applause of the night when he said that Bush, Cheney, Condoleeza, and George Tenet should "all be in fucking jail". Later he apologized because he had left out Donald Rumsfeldt.

His point was that these people are responsible for not only the thousands of deaths of young Americans but also the even larger amount of Iraqis.

What is really frightening to me is that we are all so quiet about it; so accepting of such bullshit!

It's time that the younger generations of Americans, whose future is at stake, start getting involved in righting the sinking ship of state. I write and call my duly elected officials all the time. And so should we all!

There! I have said my piece!

Currently listening :
If I Could Only Fly
By Merle Haggard
Release date: By 10 October, 2000

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To Everything, turn, turn, turn
Current mood: tired
Category: but content Blogging
Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Don't know how the weather is at your house, but DAMN ! it is so SPRINGY here today. I have the screen door working here at the office and am listening to the cardinals and the rose breasted grosbeaks sing their hearts out. I live at the junction of I-94 and State Highway 53 and consequently, you have to become used to the "white noise" of semi-truck traffice humming by on 94, but one gets used to it until it is almost soothing. If not, I can always crank up Ry Cooder's "Paradise and Lunch", as the man really moves me!

My eyes are telling me that it is allergy season and I need to get some eye drops. Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!

Not much going on today. I did a lot of napping, catching up with lost sleep of earlier in the week, what with working a gig in Wausau and driving back in a pelting rain. (but doesn't the ionization smell sweet??)
My problem is that I get home late from work all wound up and I start watching a movie on HBO. Don't get to sleep until 4AM, then have to be here in the office by 7AM to do a live radio interview. (I love it, though!)

Currently listening :
Paradise and Lunch
By Ry Cooder
Release date: By 25 October, 1990

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Monday, May 07, 2007


Blog Mania!
Current mood: energetic
Category: anticipatory Blogging

On the advice of my manager, I went to set up a blog at blogger.com and when the site came up, I found out that I had set up a blogspot there back in March under the handle of "travelins". How soon one forgets stuff when one is a "Senior"!!!!

I had set that blogspot up primarily to talk about my adventures in collecting Harmony guitars, and I am going to use it strictly for that purpose from now on, as I have THIS particular blog here on myspace, and when my regular web site at www.larryheagle.com is up later this week, you will find my most comprehensive blog there, including my oddly-skewed life perspective.

I am up pretty early today (for a guy who works as a comic/entertainer). Probably because I am pretty excited about going back to "work" tonight entertaining a Tavern League Convention. Ah! My kind of folk!

Currently listening :
Heaven and Earth
By Perla Batalla
Release date: By 01 October, 2000

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Sunday, May 06, 2007


RE-vamped Website Debuting Next Week
Current mood: ecstatic

Thanks for dropping in! I am pretty excited about the re-vamping of www.larryheagle.com because it will have a lot of new features that the old one didn't, including a video interpretation of "The Wood Tick Song", filmed by my good friend and very talented videographer, Jim Zons of EZ New Media. (When you get a chance, you should check him out on the web!)


We had a lot of fun doing it and the weather was almost exactly the same for the two days of shooting. My good friend Wil Denson directed it and supplied ideas and moral support. The voluptuous woman in the video is Kim Wilson (in the flesh); I tried to talk her into showing more of it, but hey, she's a kindergarten teacher and has a reputation to uphold.

While I am giving out kudos, I want to say thank you to Liz Fischer, my marketeer and personal manager who handles all my bookings and does a hell of a job promoting me. She is incredibly inventive and creative in her approach and sets her goals very high. you can find her on the web at Profitable Sales and Marketing. she is a published writer on her trade.

My final kudo for now goes to Mr. Gordon Bischoff, luthier extraordinare, who in addition to keeping my guitars in tip top shape (I own one of his wonderful guitars), builds amazing works of art in mahagony, rosewood, spruce, and other exotic woods. One of his most recent innovations is a by request 9 string baritone guitar (half six string, half 12 string) built with brazilian rosewood back and sides, and a master grade sitka spruce top, for nationally known recording artist Willy Porter. It is an amazing instrument and you can view it on Gordy's website: www.bischoffguitars.com.

Currently listening :
The Revolution Starts...Now
By Steve Earle
Release date: By 24 August, 2004

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Saturday, May 05, 2007


The Harmony Guitar Forum Brotherhood
Current mood: hopeful
Category: glad to be alive! Friends

I just want to take a minute to say thank you to Bill Garrison and all the guys and gals at The Harmony Forum. If you don't know about this site, and you are a guitar "nut" like I am, it is a great source of kinship and a place to go if you (as I am) a collector of Harmony guitars.

Through them, I have located hard to find guitars and parts, and am treated like a brother. there is no mean-spirited participants and all members share a common passion.

Currently watching :
Band of Brothers
Release date: By 05 November, 2002

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Friday, May 04, 2007


Check Out My Regular web Site
Current mood: cheerful

Hi! I joined "My Space" basically to let everyone know that my regular web site at www.larryheagle.com is presently getting a great new facelift and should be up by May 12th at the latest. At my web site you will find everything you need to know about me and probably more than you really want to know!

Currently reading :
A Blood-Dimmed Tide: The Battle of the Bulge by the Men Who Fought It (Dell World War II Library)
By Gerald Astor
Release date: By 03 December, 1993

9:40 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


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