The Psychic

On my way to Alexandria, Minnesota, to work an after dinner gig for a corporation, I take the exit and realize upon checking my odometer that I am in need of an oil change. About the same time, I spot one of those 10 minute oil change franchises, so I pull in, knowing that I have arrived plenty early and have time to get it done.

I sign in and take my place in the waiting room with two other people ahead of me. There are times when I am very introspect and withdrawn and tend to keep to myself.

Other times I am Mr. Chat. Today is one of those days and it isn't long before I strike up a conversation with the woman who is waiting her turn ahead of me.

When I am in the chatty mood I like to ask people questions and learn as much as I can about them. I find out that she is a nurse at the Alexandria hospital who has recently moved to Alexandria from Worthington, Minnesota, because of cut backs and when I ask her if she knows how to get to the resort at which I am to perform, she tells me that her daughter, Amy, works there as a banquet waitress.

She tells me that Amy is not happy with her job at the resort, that she is currently enrolled in a two year program at the nearest tech school, and that she is working on becoming an interior decorator. She tells me that Amy is, in fact, currently re-papering her mother's kitchen walls.

She also tells me that Amy is engaged to a young man named Doug who works as an auto mechanic in Alexandria and that they are to be married next summer.

I ask the woman to describe her daughter to me so that I can say "hi" to her from mom.

"Oh, you will know her as soon as you see her," her mother says, "she has really red hair and a butterfly tatoo on her ankle."

After my oil change, as I am driving to the resort, I decide I am going to have a little fun with Amy. I arrive, jump out of the van with my guitar, and go in to investigate the set up situation and to see if I can find Amy.

I ask the desk where the banquet is being held, proceed to the banquet room, and as I enter, there are two gals setting tableware and glassware on the many tables. One of them is Amy so I walk directly to her, thrust out my hand, and introduce myself as the after dinner entertainment.

Then I say: "Your name is Amy isn't it."

She looks quite surprised. "How did you know that?" she asks.

"It's on your name tag," I reply.

She laughs and looks embarrassed. And now I begin: "I am a comic by trade, but I am also somewhat of a psychic, although I never use that ability as a show." I pause. "You're not happy with this job are you." Again she looks somewhat surprised. "Your real talent is interior decorating." I stop and rub my temples as though I am getting a headache. "How is that wall papering you are doing for your mother coming along?"

Now her eyes are big as saucers. "How did you --" she begins. I interrupt: "It must have been rough for your mom to have lost her job at the hospital in -- where was it -- Worthington. It's really nice of you to be helping her feel more comfortable in her new home. Those interor decorating classes that you are taking? That's a two year program, right?"

Now Amy's set up partner has stopped setting up and is fully engaged.

Amy says: "This is incredible! What else do you see?"

"Well, it's difficult -- but I think I see marriage in your future, probably next year. Don't tell me his name. He's a mechanic, isn't he? D -- D -- Dave -- no! Doug! His name is Doug. How does Doug feel about the tatoo? Can I see the butterfly?"

Amy is bordering on shock.

Her set up friend says: "Now do me!"

I tell her that I can't, that this psychic stuff is really draining, and my head hurts. And besides, I have to set up. I have a show to do. I wish I could say my "second" show went as well as that first.