HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - merchants slogan: "We don't have it but we can get it for you."

Monday, July 16, 2007

Never Work With an Ego Bigger Than Your Head

Back in the day I did a lot of traveling for a really good booking agency out of Sioux City, Iowa, Comedy Productions, run efficiently by Mr. Ken Muller.

At a juncture in the late 1990's I was on an abbreviated weekend stand at Stephanie's in Moorhead, Minnesota. The last time I had worked Moorhead was years ago when I did a week stand at the Holiday Inn over Thanksgiving weekend. That weekend stands out in my mind because it was my first experience with a full blown plains blizzard.

I remember getting up Thanksgiving afternoon, figuring I would make the short trip across the parking lot of the Inn to a fairly good truck stop type restaurant that promised turkey and all the gtrimmings at a really reasonable price, only to look out the window at a complete white out! I mean I couldn't even see my car parked outside my window!

This trip was not that traumatic weather-wise, but it did however, put me in touch with an opening act out of the Twin Cities, who was a trauma unto himself.

As my warm up, he was to do 20 -30 minutes and I was to follow with a 45-60 minute set. Friday night, he comes bopping in the bar just before show time, introduces himself, and promptly gets up and does 50 minutes!

His material is based on the fact that he once worked at a Walgreen's drug store. His delivery is a direct rip off of Jim Carrey, and truth be told, the boy has Carrey down, but I fail to see the value of being a Jim Carrey impersonator. Last I checked, Carrey is not dead.

Not only that, I have never really liked Jim Carrey's "Jerry Lewis" approach to comedy so I find the performance grating and the gaff of going way over his time extremely irritating.

By the time I get half way through my set, the audience is in need of a bath room break and their ass cheeks are falling off.

Saturday night I come down to the club to find Jim Carrey Wannabe at the bar and I say: "Are you going to headline again tonight, because if you are, I will open for you and I will do my 20 like I'm supposed to".

"Oh geez, I'm sorry," he says with little feeling, "I guess I got a little carried away last night. I will do my time tonight." And he gets up and does 50 minutes again.

I say nothing -- but monday morning, I give Ken a call at Comedy Productions.

"Is that prick doing that again?" he says. "You're not the first person who has complained about him not doing his time. I will fire his ass. he won't ever work my circuit again."

About a month later, Ken calls with a gig. I ask him how his little talk went with the Carrey Wannabe. Ken says: "Yeh, I fired his ass. But you'll love this, Heagle. Know what he said when I told him I got another complaint?

What's the matter? did I blow another one of your headliners off the stage?"

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