Okay. I am officially declaring today my day of "outing" -- I'm an out of the closet senior citizen. For years I have been in a state of denial, telling myself I am not a senior, refusing to ask for a discount on my Culver's burger.
No longer will I drive my automobile normally. I will drive way under the speed limit, never signal, make sweeping, wide turns at especially slow speed, all the while staring at the people who are trying to get out into traffic.
I will begin telling stories of how "I was really something in my time" and I will expect young women to open the door for me in public.
I will now begin to complain loudly to restaurant staff when my order is not done exactly as I asked for it and I won't hesitate to send it back. This is because I read somewhere recently that the elderly who show a mean streak have been "scientifically" proven to be more intelligent.
Fact is, anybody who is intelligent and over 65 has a right to be pissed off about life because we've seen and heard way too much of this world.
You know that you are "ready to go" when you encounter a mother and child in a grocery store and the mother is telling the child that if the child follows through with the activity she is currently involved in, they are going to have "issues".
Or if somebody at Starbucks wants to know what their "options" are.
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Lately I have been listening to Perla Batalla's version of "Bird On a Wire". Under headphones, where you can hear her every nuance, listening to Perla sing that song is going to a sacred place of peace.
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