Tuesday, March 16, 2010
CRUTCHES THE CURMUDGEON MAKES PUBLIC APPEARANCE -
Here it is -- tuesday! Time for me to get the axe out and run lyrics for tomorrow night's gig at the Red Parrot. (Mike Quick has dubbed it the Dead Parrot).
Just finished running Rocket Action Oldsmobile and The Big Tamater and damn! I like those lyrics! I had forgotten how much fun it was writing them and singing them. Getting more and more excited about tomorrow night.
I have to hang it up for a bit and go rest my leg - get it up in the air cuz it hurts like a mudder. I have been put on notice that I better not be a curmudgeon when Judy comes over for birthday Irish dinner tonight.
That's why I ran this photo of "Crutches the Curmudgeon" -taken two saturdays ago at the Jay Moore breakfast extravaganza and posted on his web site at jay Moore in the Morning.
an Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'
The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'..
Two Norwegians were looking at a Sears
catalog and admiring the models.
Ole says to Sven, 'Have you seen
the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
Sven replies, 'Yes, they are
very beautiful. And look at the price!'
Ole says, with wide eyes,
'Wow, they aren't very expensive.
At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back.
'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful
as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, Sven asks his
friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you
ordered from the Sears catalog?'
'No, but it shouldn't be long now.
I got her clothes yesterday.
When I checked into my motel, I said to the lady at the desk, "I hope
the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."