If you drink and drive you might want to take this to heart. According to a reliable source, the Eau Claire Police Department has a standing deal with all the Kwik Trip gas stations in Eau Claire.
If the gas station attendant smells alcohol on your breath, (you don't have even have to appear to be impaired) they immediately tip off the Eau Claire Police who then will follow you, stop you, and issue a breathalyzer test. In return, for every arrest they make, they pay the informer fifty dollars.
In another instance, Bakers Square called Eau Claire Police when they suspected that some of their customers had been drinking. When the customers left, the police cruiser was already in place for the kill.
That's the state of the country right now. Fascism is in vogue.
And it's not just in Eau Claire. Friends from Iowa City tell me that the Iowa City Police Department has really gotten out of hand down there. They even go so far as to stop citizens who are walking home late night, check ID and issue a breathalyzer test.
Just thought you might like to know the overall temperament of the State.
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On a lighter note, I just found out that Eau Claire has a doctor of Gastroenterology who performs colonoscopies. His name? Doctor Ramage. How appropriate!
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It was a festival of artesansyesterday at the Heagle/Wilson compound. At one point we had two heavy trucks in the driveway -- one working on the well at the house and un-waterlogging the pressure tank at the office, the other on the septic system.
Mr. Goss is our regular sewage pumper. With the back up problems we were having today, he made time in his busy schedule to come out and empty the tank in preparation for the rotor rooter man to come in Thursday morning and finish the job.
He got to telling me some of the slogans of the trade:
"A royal flush beats a full house."
"yesterday's meals, today's meals on wheels."
"Doctor of Sewerology" (sort of like Dr. Ramage)
"I don't have any employees but I have a lot of assholes working for me."
"Sewage pumpers are in the used food business."
"Number one in the Number two business."
Paul Olson returned to finish the well cleansing and brought along his dad, Dan, who it turns out, is a good fan of mine from "the old days at HoJo's". I sked him if well drillers have folksy sayings like the sewage guys. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, there's 'colder than a well digger's ass', but I know you've heard that one.
then he went on to relate this true story:
Opening night of deer season is extremely cold. Dan gets a call from a farmer saying his well is not pumping water and that this is an emergency as he needs to clean his milk lines. Dan agrees to run out and deal with it even thoujgh it is after hours and it is a 20 below zero day.
Dan's wife goes with him. As Dan is working on the well some 10 feet below ground level, the farmer calls down to him and asks if the saying "colder than a well digger's ass" is true.
Dan's wife reaches out, grabs Dan's ass and says: "Yes, it's true." i gotta meet this woman!
Dan tells me another story of a man who is building a cabin on the lake near where Dan has his. He asks Dan to come check out the location to find out if he can drill a well for him. Dan's wife gets in the back seat to tag along.
After checking it out, Dan informs the man he can dig a well for him. They are returning to Dan's cabin when the man asks Dan about how much it will cost. Dan tells him around $1500.00
The man says: "I'll give you $1200."
From the back seat comes: "This isn't Let's Make a Deal."
There is complete silence for the rest of the drive. I gotta meet this woman!
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