Disaster Strikes 4896 Driveway - Search For Survivors Continues

We had a rainstorm last night. Nothing very severe. It didn't even knock the DirectTV signal off while I was watching the Denver/San Francisco preseason game in high def.

High Def makes you watch programming that you ordinarily would not consider. Picture quality is that good. Unless of course someone farts within 12 miles of your receiver. Then your picture disintegrates into a thousand shards of pixels.

But there was no break up of the picture last night. Maybe the storm increased in velocity after I went to sleep, because I got up around 6:30AM to find what appeared to be a brush pile wontonly discraded by a disguntled neighbor.

Oh, yes, I have disgruntled neighbors. If you lived near me, you, too, would be disgruntled what with all the late night, rowdy musician, rope smokin', pill poppin', power chord blastin', devil worshippin' gatherings of folk and bluegrassers.

As I got closer to the brush pile, it became obvious that this was a trick of that old mother herself -- nature! She had done her worst and laid a rotting oak (or is it an elm) dead across our main escape route. And me without a chain saw!

Being a good American, my first thought was law suit against the old lady next door for not maintaining her dead trees, but then I realized that we bought that property years ago and it was our own damn tree lying across the driveway.

So now I am down to two choices. Never leave home by vehicle, ever again, or call my pal Rob at "Complete Home Maintenance" and let him deal with the aftermath of Mother Nature's dastardly dead.

Since I have a scheduled luncheon engagement with Jay Moore, I am forced to make the call. Help is on its way. But at what cost?

This has already been a dreadful week what with the well water going to hell, the septic system backing up, and the office holding tank waterlogging.

But like the survivors of Katrina we go forward - frightened to death of Karl Rove's retiring, but feeling just a little better knowing that at least we are not members of Karl's immediate family.


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