This just in from my long time friend, John Buchholz:
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. The one on the left says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.'
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on holiday yet, lads?''
Off to England next month,' says John. 'We go to England every year, hire a car. and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender. 'Wonderful Country ... the history, the beer, the culture....'
'Nah, we don't like that British crap,' says John. 'Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim? And we can't stand the English; they're so arrogant and rude,
not civil and polite like us Canadians.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive...
Kim will attest to the fact that I tend to "binge bake". Some months ago, it was Krispie Bars (not really baking, but oh my!)
Last month, at a family gathering in Mike's Smokehouse, my younger brother Anson presented his brothers with a zip lock bag of oatmeal cookies based on a recipe I had developed years before. They never saw the light of our kitchen. I had forgotten how great they taste!
I decided I needed to bake a batch but then could not find the recipe! so I e mailed Anson and threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't send me MY recipe. A couple days later, I got it. Let the baking begin!
I have since baked two double batches (48 cookies per batch) one quadruple batch (do the math) and yesterday my poor wife came home to find me in the kitchen conjuring up yet another batch. This one contains: Move Over Butter, brown sugar, Demerara sugar from Florida, quick oats, bread flour, brown raisins, golden raisins, crushed walnuts, dry roast peanuts, and craisins.
The Demarara sugar adds a sparkly crunch to the cookie and a hint of molasses flavor. God in heaven! These cookies are as addictive as dope. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I was going to publish my recipe but have decided, selfishly, to keep it to myself.
I need to keep some of these in the car in case I get stopped by the police. Is a cookie a bribe?
Study today's photo (compliments of Mr. Capell). Obviously that young kid with the cell phone has reached puberty. There'll be hand lotion and kleenex later -
FIRST SIGNS OF SPRING IN WISCONSIN
People look like they are driving drunk when actually all they are doing is trying to avoid pot holes.
Teen agers are wearing short shorts on sunny days even with a wind chill factor of 20 degrees.
The orange cones begin to spring up on Highway 94.
My nose begins to run.
Women once again have breasts.
Conscientious begin raking the yard.
Favre is at it again.
My tongue no longer will stick to a flag pole.
The first day of not wearing long underwear.
The sound of a robin coughing.
(and my truly-no-joke favorite)
Mr. Cardinal no longer sings winter song, but goes into lilting spring song - a song of hope!