The pressure is off. Be it hereby known that I am the absolute worst at keeping a secret. Early last year my wife Kim made the big decision: after 31 years of teaching kindergarten, she would be calling it quits at 32. But she didn't want it known.
Then the present (32) school year began. Kim told me she still didn't want it known that she was retiring at the end of the year, but felt that she should let her principal know, so she did.
Now, I am not saying that Joe can't keep a secret either, but somehow, possibly through discussions with other faculty about scheduling next year, it was alluded to, and it wasn't long before Kim began getting feedback questions from fellow teachers about what she ws doing next year.
At this point I should answer a question you might have -- why was she so adamant about not letting anyhone know? I asked her that myself. Here explanation was that she wouldn't want anybody to think that she would somehow slack off this year just because it was her final hurrah.
It didn't make any sense to me. Anybody who knows Kim remotely knows that there is no one who spends more time at school, before school, after school than she. there is no one more organized, more thorough, more dedicated to kids than she, but that was her feeling, so I put a zip on the lip.
Now when Kim, filled with dismay about the questions, wondered what she should do, I suggested she make a "pre-emptive strike" and announce immediately that she is retiring next Spring and not have to deal with the questions any longer.
I also suggested that we have some fun with it and that since she was aslways involved in meetings, why not have me come in at a morning meeting as a "resource" person with a special presentation, and I would write and sing a song announcing the retirement.
Hate to brag, but I am just back from Roosevelt school and it worked magnificently! I not only announced her retirement, but good naturedly got some jabs in at her principal, Joe, who is only in his second year as principal at Roosevelt, and is a really positive, upbeat leader; Kim took an immediate liking to him and they continually take opposing views just to tease each other.
Both she and I are only sorry that he didn't arrive on the scene from Ashwaubenon years earlier. (But then, how could he, the guy's only in is early thirties, although he does look a bit older because he has absolutely no hair, having lost so much at an early age that he now shaves his entire dome regularly.)
So here is what I wrote, in its entirety, entitled: Kim Wilson -- She's An Expert On Everything.
This is Kim’s teaching year thirty two
And it’s time that you all know what’s true
Rumors abound, they’re all over town
Will she quit or what will she do?
Decisions are not easy things
That’s what being an expert brings
Kim thinks she’s quite flexible
So I asked her principal
But Joe says the jury’s not in --
Cuz she’s an expert on everything
An expert on everything
That’s why I love her, put no one above her
She’s an expert on everything.
At meetings -- Kim will always ask why
She’s been known to make principals cry
gnash teeth, pull out hair, I swear that it’s so
But she claims she’s not guilty of Joe
And as long as we’re speaking of Joe
There’s something you all should know
Kim he would besmirch for her lack of research
But just knowing she’s right makes it so
Cuz she’s an expert on everything --
Kim asked me to say before I go
She’s seen many pass through here, we know
She thinks Roosevelt’s best cuz it’s endured the test
And you’re blessed to have Principal Joe
I married the lovely Ms Kim
And without her my prospects are dim
I’m glad she’s my wife, she’s the love of my life
But in some ways she’s just like him
Cuz Joe’s an expert on everything
An expert on everything
That’s why you all love him, put no one above him
Cuz he’s an expert on everything
Kim’s taught many years, quite a string
And it’s of this I proudly sing
I said Kim do what’s best, put these rumors to rest
SHE’S RETIRING THIS COMING SPRING.
I am relieved on several levels. The presentation went well. Kim loved it, Joe loved it, the faculty laughed and shed a few tears over it and best of all, I don't have to worry about letting the news accidently slip!
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