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Thoughts to Ponder

* Death is the #1 killer in the world.

* Life is sexually transmitted.

* Good health - the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* Men have 2 emotions: hungry, horny. If you see a gleam in his eye . . make him a sandwich.

* Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day. teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

* Take a lesson from the weather; it pays no attention to criticism.

* In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

* Life is like a jar of jalepeno peppers: what you do today may burn your ass tomorrow.

*Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

And finally:

* Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

Heckler Smack-down:

I was working at "The Parlor Car", Howard Johnson's, Wausau. It had taken a while, but people now came out to actually be quiet and listen to the show. On a Saturday night, there was a wedding celebration across the hall and at one point, a very inebriated wedding guest stood in the doorway and began shouting nearly incomprehensible sentences in my direction. Finally, I addressed him: "Good evening, sir. and where are you from?" "You can't get there from here!" he yelled.
"Isn't that ironic," I replied, speaking for my already irritated audience, "We were all wishing that you couldn't get here from there."

He left.

travelins: The - Not - So - Great American Blog

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

Friday, July 17, 2009

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Words of Wisdom