HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

FIRST OSCAR DIES - NOW THIS??

MOUNT PLEASANT, Wis. — One southern Wisconsin homeowner is probably not in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener. The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed Friday into the deck and garage of a home in Mount Pleasant, about 35 miles south of Milwaukee.

Police said the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.

No one was home and no one was injured. No citations were immediately issued.

Both the home and vehicle suffered moderate damage, which Oscar Mayer spokeswoman Sydney Lindner says insurance will cover.

Police hadn't been able to speak to the homeowner as of early Friday evening.

I researched a bit - here's what I found out about the drivers:

the real driving is done by a team of talented and personable "Hotdoggers" who have attended Hot Dog High in Madison, Wisconsin, where they learn about the company's products and history as well as receiving specialized driver training. I'm sure they're careful drivers, but Oscar Mayer undoubtedly has a hefty car insurance policy on a vehicle this unique. After taking the Hotdogger Oath and graduating, new Hotdoggers travel the country for one year.



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I know it's just my perverted mind, but there is something vaguely - or maybe not so vaguely - Freudian about the photograph of the weinermobile jammed into the garage of a home in (where else) MOUNT PLEASANT! Oh, Oscar, it's just too big! Someone get the mustard! Or at least a gallon of vaseline.
Where else but Wisconsin would you even find a "Weinermobile"?

OH I WISH I WERE AN OSCAR MAYER WEINER
THAT IS WHAT I'D TRULY LIKE TO BE
CUZ IF I WERE AN OSCAR MAYER WEINER
EVERYONE WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

Except for the homeowner in Mt. Pleasant - but then how do we know he isn't ecstatic today, knowing that he will now be able to remodel his rotting deck and expand his garage?

Don't worry - Sydney says this intrusion will be covered by insurance.

And what was the Weinermobile doing parked in that driveway in the first place? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Remember roasting weenies over an open campfire? Read on:

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie and with the pride for which these men were famous; it was a night of bravado, a night of tall tales..

Tom, the hand from Wyoming says, 'I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.'

Ben, from Colorado, couldn't stand to be bested.. That's nothing, 'I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache.'

Old Dungus Bob, the cowboy from West Texas, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker.

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