HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Friday, June 18, 2010

THROW TONY HAYWARD INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE OIL SPILL AND LIGHT A FREAKIN MATCH

In an all out effort to maintain some sort of sanity, lately I have refused to even watch any sort of news programming. Last night however, I turned on John Stewart's Daily Show and was incensed by the Repugnican stance that WE should be apologizing for the "fleecing" of BP by the insistence of the present administration that BP pay out some $20 billion dollars to workers of the Gulf region for loss of jobs.

Such insanity! Then I find out that the other major oil companies with off shore drilling have no contingency should the same happenstance befall their organization. It is extremely difficult to keep a cheery outlook when big business is busy destroying the one planet that we have.

Just as frustrating are people like a friend of mine who claims that ALL politicians are crooks that should be voted out of office - but have no idea on how they think the present situation should be handled.

If there ever was a wake up call to move on to wind and solar power, this is it, my friends! Not only could we rid ourselves of our addiction to oil but we can put thousands upon thousands of Americans back to work bringing new technologies to fruition.


When BP CEO Tony Hayward testified before Congress the other morning, many expected to hear him apologize for the disaster his company has caused. Instead, GOP Congressman Joe Barton was the one saying he was sorry -- to BP.

In his opening statement, Barton, the top Republican on the committee overseeing the oil spill and its aftermath, delivered a personal apology to the oil giant. He said the $20 billion fund that President Obama directed BP to establish to provide relief to the victims of the oil disaster was a "tragedy in the first proportion."

I was so pissed that I gave the image on my TV screen the finger!

Other Republicans are echoing his call. Sen. John Cornyn said he "shares" Barton's concern. Rep. Michele Bachmann said that BP shouldn't agree to be "fleeced." Rush Limbaugh called it a "bailout." The Republican Study Committee, with its 114 members in the House, called it a "shakedown."

Let's be clear. This fund is a major victory for the people of the Gulf. It's a key step toward making them whole again. BP has a responsibility to those whose lives and livelihoods have been devastated by the disaster. And BP oil executives don't deserve an apology -- the people of the Gulf do.

Now that I think about it - an apology from BP wouldn't make me feel any better. Watching their corporate headquarters go up in huge fire balls and smoke that would choke asshole Tony to death - now hat might make me feel a little better!

Anybody got a match? Anybody got $50 to buy a can of gas to start the fire? There! I said it!

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HELL EXPLAINED

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.




The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :






Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?






Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.






One student, however, wrote the following:






First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.



Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:




1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.




2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.






So which is it?






If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'




THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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