HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - merchants slogan: "We don't have it but we can get it for you."

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


This is my latest and perhaps my last football helmet project: the Jim Carter helmet. I won the helmet on eBay for the paltry sum of $35.00 plus shipping from a guy in Texas. a brand new Riddell helmet would have run me $143.90.

when it arrived it was in pretty rough shape. It already had some Green Bay Packer decals on it but they were beginning to peel and were not at all positioned where they should be so I got out my trusty hair dryer set on high heat, the "Goo-Gone", some hot water with Dawn dish washing liquid, and removed the decals.

Just after I won the helmet, I contacted Real Stuff and ordered the "cage" face mask you see pictured. I had done my research on line, looking for photos of Mr. Carter in his playing uniform and found one photo of him with a very unusual looking mask. With further investigation I found out that it was a Riddell-made mask that was only manufactured for a few years,

The dealer wants $199 for a duplicate of the mask?!?! At that price, I opted for the more standard mask you see pictured. so after thoroughly cleaning and waxing the helmet, I installed the face mask with the provided fasteners. It is now ready to be autographed by Mr. Carter on December 9th.

I also ordered a nice display case for the helmet and am having a custom name plate made that will read:



Life As A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three."

"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In will burst Sarah Palin and hack off your head."

"Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part," he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!"

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing exercise tapes.

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound!
So now I'm a pet in the ex-governor's lap,
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said
"Christmas is coming ..."


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