HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

ANOTHER SET OF KEYS? WHO THE HELL ARE THESE?

See the old lady in the cartoon? I had a day yesterday that rivals the activity pictured. I had an errand to run so I grabbed my keys off the entrance way table and pocketed them. When I reached the car, I reached into the opposite pocket, pulled out a set of keys, started up the car, and drove into Eau Claire to Fastitich to discuss whether they could "take in" a baseball cap which was too big for my head.

After leaving there, I looked across a torn up Hastings Way towards the Wendy's on the other side of no man's land. So I maneuvered my way through all the signs, pulled into the Wendy's parking lot and went in to pick up an order of my favorite french fries, the ones that are naturally cut, skin on, with sea salt.

After finishing my fries, I went out to my locked car, reached into my right hand pocket, pulled out they keys and pushed the button on the black key fob which automatically unlocks the doors - and nothing happened. I try again with the same result. Then I reach into my left hand pocket to find another set of keys with a black key fob and push the button on that one and the doors open.

Now I am completely confused and think that I must have picked up a wrong set of keys off the counter while in Wendy's, so remembering the customer who was at the counter when I was, I go back in the store and seek him out.

No, he tells me. those aren't my keys. Now I am really confused! All I can think is I must have picked up this extra set of keys over across the street at Fastitch. so instead of doing the sensible thing, I decide that crossing the street under heavy construction by foot is the most direct route, so I dodge cars, cement rollers, trucks and mud holes and finally reach the place.

When I ask if these keys belong to anybody the answer is no. Now I am totally bamboozled! Once again I work my way across no man's land, back to Wendy's and tell the counter help that I don't know whose keys they are but they should keep them.

I go out to the car and decide I'd better check in with Kim by cell phone as I have been gone long enough to have her be worrying.

I start explaining what has happened and she says: "THOSE ARE MY KEYS, YOU DUMMY! I LEFT THEM ON THE TABLE BY THE DOOR BECAUSE I HADN'T PUT MY CAR AWAY YET!"

Back into Wendy's to explain to the crew what a dolt I am. Good thing I didn't have anything to mail! I would have (as in the picture) probably tried to send it special delivery via air butt!

Some days I can't even wipe!

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