Bumper stickers: Life's sign posts

I am off to a typical Monday morning. Just finished writing a thank you note to the Quehl Engels for the fine party of last Saturday and now I am transcribing the opening line to "I saw Jesus in my tortilla" (copyright, right now). Craig Engel and his friend Jeff Lloyd Jones penned that much of it on a float trip recently. We are not certain where the song is heading although there seems only one logical conclusion: the last verse will have something to do with cashing it in on eBay, don'tcha think?

I have many of the- get- caught- up things to do that one does of a monday. I need to pick up the tee shirts that Sue has finished for me up in Bloomer. That will be the subject of a further blog. There is also the banking and possible oil change that is due on the Scion after pounding all those Iowa miles on the weekend.

So why am I sitting here blogging away when I should be working? It's called elective procrastinating. Today's theme, by the way, is bumper stickers that have caught my eye recently.

I guess I started thinking about bumper stickers because for years on my '82 red Chevy panel van that I dubbed "The Big Tomato", on either side of my personalized Wisconsin license plate: "LAUGHS", I had two bumper stickers. The one said: "Question Authority" and the other: "Bad Cop, No Donut".

I always felt if I ever got stopped I had best be pretty damned funny.

At any rate, While I was filling up with that liquid gold known as gasoline, I saw a bumper sticker that said: My Laborador Retriever Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student. The dog was hanging out the car window, tongue slobbering all down the panel. He didn't really look like a Rhoades Scholar to me, but who am I too judge?

There are those who drive with attitude. A particularly slow driver on a notoriously hilly section of good old Highway 61 had a bumper sticker that read: "The closer you get, the slower I'll drive." That one of course reminded me of the other angst loaded: "Keep honking, I'm re-loading" bumper sticker I've seen. I cozied right up to him and when I got that 10 yards of single yellow line, it was goodye papa.

There were several, in lieu of the nation's status, that I found encouraging: "Proud of My Country, Appalled By My Government, Blind Faith In Bad Leadership Is Not Patriotism, "Bush Lied, People died, But It's Not like He's Gay or Anything .."

Some others that caught my eye:


"Oh, Look, Honey! Another Pro-lifer For War!" "Is it 2008 Yet?" "Bush Deserves a Third Term: PRISON" "Elect Ability" "Stewart/Colbert 2008" "Support The Troops, Bring Them Home" "I Miss Bill" "More Trees, Less Bush" "If You're Not Outaged, You're Not Paying Attention".

Of course for the environmentally conscious there's : "My other car is a bicycle".

And for those of us who are really fed up with George Bush's war: "God Bless Our Troops, God Damn Our Foreign Policy!"

I've never understood why anyone needs to drive a HUMMER, so when I saw this bumper sticker, I laughed: "Nice Hummer .. Sorry about your penis!"

I'm certain you have seen some good ones and I invite you to submit them to this blog as well!