Yeterday I had two appointmentS at the Marshfield Center: a follow up with Dr. Ray, my sleep disorder doc, and a blood draw to check my Cumodin levels. Dr. Ray was really swamped with patients and a crowded waiting room so after waiting nearly 35 minutes I asked the receptionist if it would all right if I slipped up stairs to the lab to have a blood draw. She was okay with that so I jumped the elevtor.
When my name was called it was by a technician that I was unfamiliar with as most of the time I work with the early morning crew, so skilled in their craft that they have certificates from Count Dracula above their work areas.
This gentleman looked to be about a junior in high school but he asssured me that he is 28.
Now, before I proceed further with today's tale, in all fairness to the tech, I was only about three days out of surgery for the gall bladder and the Scarred Heart staff had pretty much destroyed the lower arm vein system.
It should also be made clear that when I get poked and prodded with needles 24/7 in the hospital,my veins take to the interior jungles of the body to fightonly to return when the coast is clear.. They tend to disappear like a night crawler when it gets hit with a high beam flash light.
At any rate, baby tech man is having a great deal of difficulty finding a vein. He builds my confidence by suggesting that maybe the other tech should do me. However, he can't find her, and so begins to poke tentatively.
Being raised Catholic I am smiling through the pain, offering it up to the poor souls in purgatory As he begins his fourth attempt, I am aware of the "muzak" that is playing over head, and I start to giggle.
"What's so funny?" asks the tech.
Loud and clear over the speaker system, U2's Bono is singing: "And I still haven't found what I'm looking for"
I said listen to what's playing on the PA system.
He failed to see the humor. He sent in the lady from Tennessee. But she, too could make no contact. Finally I excused myself for my appointment in the basement and promised I would be back.
LARRY MAY BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE!!!!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
Chelsea Clinton's wedding was July 31st...
Hillary played the perfect Mom
She asked Chelsea... "have you had sex with Marc?"
Chelsea said.... "Not according to Dad"
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked,"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
Now you know...
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.
THIS JUST IN: YOURS TRULY HAS SECURED A TICKET FOR SATURDAY NIGHT'S OPENING PRE-SEASON PACKER GAME AGAINST THE BROWNS.
Good. I will get a chance to holler at Holmgren again. I will never forgive him for mis-coaching the Packers in the 1998 Super Bowl.
It will be great to get a look at the team, to take in Lambeau's beauty once more. To watch A-ROD work over the Browns defense. And not be freezing the gonads.