In Search of the Fallopian Tube

This morning as I was making my way over to Festival Foods on the service road that runs past Menard's, I came upon my first sighting of three "city limits deer", one still in fawn's dappled coat. They were looking very confused as to what their next move should be as most of their options would lead to disaster.

Having my Samsung digital camera with me, I took a couple of photos of them while I was at the stop sign and tried to print one at the beginning of this blog, but without a camera that can really "zoom" in on a subject, neither of the photos was usable as you would have a hell of a time finding them in the photo -- worse than a "Where's Waldo" !

As I made my left turn to go under the overpass, the deer wheeled and started up the hill towards the three lane traffic of Highway 53 North. I wonder where they are now and if they are still alive.

Brother Bob and wife Dorothy were in for a late morning brunch of just out of the oven popovers, fresh fruit salad, caramel/chocolate specialty coffee and a choice of orange or tomato juice. I ate too much.

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My brother Bob and I, both having been teachers for years, got into telling "war" stories after brunch and I remembered -- out of the clear blue -- the story of the day I could no longer deal with a troublesome student that was in my over-the lunch- hour split section.

At lunch I sat with some of my male cohorts and got them to agree to help me keep the kid on the move for the final 20 minutes of the hour. by passing him on from one to another in a "snipe hunt" -- only this was not a snipe hunt -- I told the kid to go down to the art room and ask Mr. Owens for my fallopian tube -- venturing to guess that this kid would not know what a fallopian tube was.

Mr. Owens sent him on to the history teacher -- the history teacher sent him on to yet another teacher and the last teacher on the list was Marge Quaid, who taught 9th grade english in the room right next to mine. (She would not be let in on the ruse!)

So I straight-facedly sent the trouble maker out of my room, telling him to be back with my fallopian tube before the end of the hour or it would result in detention.

It got to be about nine minutes before the bell when I assigned my class to work a page of exercises in grammar. I posted myself near the small window in my door and waited for the messenger to arrive at Ms Quaid's door.

The situation got even better when I heard Marge announce to her class that she had a five minute film strip she wanted them to watch before the end of the hour.

Off went the lights in her room, and she took a seat in the very last of the row near the door. Perfect!

Three minutes went by before my unsuspecting patsy came waltzing past my door and entered the darkened room next door.

I slipped outside my own room and peered in her window to watch what happened next:

He went over to where Mrs Quaid was sitting, leaned over close to her ear and I could see him whispering something to her.

Her response was to sit bolt upright with stiffened shoulders. She then said something to him and pointed to the door. I moved to the front of my room.

The snipe-hunter re-entered my room, shrugged his shoulders and sat down in his chair. The bell rang. I dismissed the class.
My hunter came up to me from the back of the room and said:

"Gee, Mr. Heagle -- I really tried to find it for you, but nobody had it. Mrs. Quaid wouldn't even give me an excuse, She just told me to go to my room! anyway, Mr. Heagle -- what's a phillipian tube?"

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

"Well, Bob, a Phillipian tube is a tube made out of a special glass that's only manufactured in the Philippines -- you'd best get going or you'll be late for your next class."

He left, Seconds later, Marge Quaid stuck her head in my door.:

"Heagle! You are crazy! What are you up to????"

My explanation left her laughing to tears.

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I would like to state categorically that I left teaching of my own volition. I was not fired. I could have been had this gotten out, I suppose.

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2008 GREEN BAY PACKERS IN MINIATURE -- TOO COOL!

It had been so long ago that I put in my order for the pictured miniature Packer team that I had forgotten that I had even done so.

Imagine my surprise and joy when this beautiful set arrived this past week! McFarlane (the manufacturer) had even updated the QB position with Aaron Rodgers at the helm.

So far I have managed to resist the urge to cut open the packaging -- thereby reducing the collectability of the item -- and even encased in plastic, the display sure beats just a bobble head doll or a plastic Jesus on my dashboard!

GO PACK GO! (AND TAKE TED THOMPSON WITH YOU)

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Knee Rehab Beginning to Show Benefits

This morning Kim nad I loaded the bikes into "the tomato" and drove the six miles into town (gotta start somewhere), parked at the tennis courts on First Avenue and unloaded the bikes.

We then rode over to The Grand Avenue Cafe for a late brunch of quiche and eggs in hollandaise sauce. two strong cups of coffee later I was good to go and we covered over three miles, circling through the university campus and into the beautiful housing and streets of the Third Ward before turning back for the park and the ride back home in the red van.

By the time I got back here the knee was stiffening up some, but I am heartened by my progress over the last three weeks. I intend to keep up my therapy at home and ride bike through the colorful season of autumn.

Kim is in her first week of retirement and it is such a joy to know that we can plan what we want to do together each day at our leisure!

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Palin?? It Just Gets Creepier and Creepier!

Just when you think it is safe to go ahead and finish the shrine to the greatest QB to play the sport, Ted Thompson throws a monkey wrench into my display and I have to work diligently to come up with the correct head gear!

Go Brett! I hope you have a hell of a year! As good as last year!

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Some facts on Mr. McCain's VP choice:

Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:

She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.

1. Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.
2. She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000.
3. Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.
4. She's doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.
5. She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.
6. How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.

The Funeral and Burial of "I CAN'T"

It appears that I didn't get the church sign quite right when I added it to my blog the other day under "heckler smack down". Here is an actual photo of the Waupun church bulletin board that has been circulating via the internet this past week.

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Every time the city of Waupun is mentioned I cannot help but think about a law enforcement banquet at which I entertained. Waupun is the home of Wisconsin's state women's prison -- Taycheedah. At the luncheon two prison officials were ribbing each other and one popped this gem:

"You're so ugly you couldn't get laid at Taycheedah with a hand full of pardons." Now there's a heckler smackdown that I have stored away for use over the years but sadly have never had the opportunity to use.

I received a wonderful e mail from Connie Mulkson, a retired fellow teacher of my wife. I liked it so much I feel it needs to be shared:

Donna's fourth-grade classroom looked like many others I had seen in the past. Students sat in five rows of six desks. The teacher's desk was in the front and faced the students. The bulletin board featured student work. In most respects it appeared to be a typically traditional elementary classroom. Yet, something seemed different that day I entered it for the first time. There seemed to be an undercurrent of excitement.




Donna was a veteran small-town Michigan schoolteacher only two years away from retirement. In addition, she was a volunteer participant in a countywide development project I had organized and facilitated. The training focused on language arts ideas that would empower students to feel good about them and take charge of their lives. Donna's job was to attend training sessions and implement the concepts presented. My job was to make classroom visitations and encourage implementation.





I took an empty seat in the back and watched. All the students were working on a task, filling a sheet of notebook paper with thoughts and ideas. The ten-year-old student closest to me was filling her page with "I Can'ts."

"I can't kick the soccer ball pass second base."
"I can't do long division with more than three numbers."
"I can't get Debbie to like me."





Her page was half full and she showed no signs of letting up. She worked on with determination and persistence.

I walked down the row glancing at students' papers. Everyone was writing sentences, describing things they couldn't do.

"I can't do ten pushups."
"I can't hit over the left-field fence."
"I can't eat only one cookie."





By this time, the activity engaged my curiosity, so I decided to check with the teacher to see what was going on. As I approached her, I noticed that she too was busy writing. I felt it best not to interrupt.

"I can't get John's mother to come in for a teacher conference."
"I can't get my daughter to put gas in the car."
"I can't get Alan to use words instead of fists."





Thwarted in my efforts to determine why students and teacher were dwelling on the negative instead of the positive "I Can't" statements, I returned to my seat and continued my observations. Students wrote for ten minutes. Most filled their page. Some started another.

"Finish the one you're on and don't start a new one," were the instructions Donna used to signal the end of the activity. Students were then instructed to fold their papers in half and bring them to the front. When students reached the desk, they placed their "I Can't" statements into an empty shoe box.





When all of the student papers were collected, Donna added hers. She put the lid on the box, tucked it under her arm and headed out the door and down the hall. Students followed the teacher. I followed the students.

Halfway down the hall the procession stopped. Donna entered the custodian's room, rummaged around and came out with a shovel. Shovel in one hand, shoebox in the other, Donna marched the students out of the school to the farthest corner of the playground. There they began to dig.





They were going to bury their "I Cant's!" The digging took over ten minutes because most of the fourth graders wanted a turn. When the hole approached three-foot deep, the digging ended. The box of "I Cant's" was placed at the bottom of the hole and quickly covered with dirt.

Thirty-one 10- and 11- years -olds stood around the freshly dug gravesite. Each had at least one page full of "I Cant's" in the shoebox, three-feet under. So did their teacher.





At this point Donna announced, "Boys and girls, please join hands and bow your heads." The students complied. They quickly formed a circle around the grave, creating a bond with their hands. They lowered their heads and waited. Donna delivered the eulogy.

"Friends, we gather today to honor the memory of "I Can't." While he was with us on earth, he touched the lives of everyone, some more than others. His names, unfortunately, has been spoken in every public building - schools, city halls, and state capitols and yes, even The White House.





We have provided "I Can't" with a final resting place and headstone that contains his epitaph. He is survived by his brothers and sisters, "I can, 'I will' and "I'm going to Right Away.' They are not as well known as their famous relative and are certainly not as strong and powerful yet. Perhaps someday, with your help, they will make an even bigger mark on the world. May 'I Can't' rest in peace and may everyone present pick up their lives and move forward in his absence. Amen."





As I listened to the eulogy I realized that these students would never forget this day. The activity was symbolic, a metaphor for life. It was a right-brain experience that would stick in the unconscious and conscious mind forever.

Writing "I Cant's," burying them and hearing the eulogy. That was a major effort on the part of this teacher. And she wasn't done yet. At the conclusion of the eulogy she turned the students around, marched them back into the classroom and held a wake.





They celebrated the passing of "I Can't" with cookies, popcorn and fruit juices. Donna cut out a tombstone from butcher paper. She wrote the words "I Can't" at the top and put RIP in the middle the date was added at the bottom, "3/28/80."

The paper tombstone hung in Donna's classroom for the remainder of the year. On those rare occasions when a student forgot and said, "I Can't," Donna simply pointed to the RIP sign. The student then remembered that "I Can't" was dead and chose to rephrase the statement.





I wasn't one of Donna's students. She was one of mine. Yet that day I learned an enduring lesson from her.

Now, years later, whenever I hear the phrase, "I Can't," I see images of that fourth-grade funeral. Like the students, I remember that "I Can't" is dead.

Copyright ~ Phillip B. Childs
Executive Director, Internet Outreach Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia
All Rights Reserved

Submitted by: Harry Updegraff, Jr.

Thank You Mr. Harlan and All Weyauwega-Fremont Faculty!

When work is at a minimum I find I savor each opportunity to the fullest. So it was yesterday with my jaunt to Weyauwega, Wisconsin, to address the closing of teachers' inservice for the Weyauwega-Fremont school district. I had a ball!

Imagine my surprise when superintendent F. James Harlan walked into the cafeteria where I was busily setting up my sound system and I found that he somehow looked awfully familiar to me.

That's because I had last seen him some thirty years ago and knew him as Jim Harlan, a fellow faculty member at Delong Junior High School, Eau Claire!

In catching up, I found out that Jim had taught for a while longer after I left, then he left to becoming a securities/commodities agent in Milwaukee, a highly stressful job, he told me, where you have a telephone stuck to each ear, dealing with the big boys in New York City.

He was, in fact, an agent on September 11, 2001, and knew many of the people who lost their lives on that terrible day.

Mentally renewed and refreshed, he went back to school and got his administrator's degree and returned to education.

Excuse me while I brag -- I was at the top of my game yesterday, my timing was impeccable and the teachers were one of the best audiences I have ever worked with! It is such a joy to be doing your show and to see people doubled over in laughter and wiping tears from their eyes from laughing so hard!

Just the adrenaline alone carried me back down the highway until around Thorp when my fibromyalgia raised it's ugly head and by the time I reached Eau Claire to attend an art exhibit opening I had nothing left.

But what a great day! Many many thanks to Mr. Harlan and all the teachers for being such a gracious group. I am only hoping that I can land some more teachers' inservices for as Jim told me after the show, " they really identified with you because they could tell that you are one of them, having taught for eleven years".

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The trip to see Dr. Bob Hartman about the present condition of my knee replacement was valuable in that x-rays revealed that there is basically nothing wrong in the work that was done, very little scarring, and that I am more than likely overdoing it with the exercise regimen.

Dr. Hartman told me to back off my regimen somewhat and cut back on my visits to the therapist, but to continue to work the knee nonetheless.

The bad news is that I can expect to have some pain in the knee for the rest of my life. Hey! I was raised Catholic! I love pain. I will offer it up for the poor souls in purgatory.

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Senator Barack Obama gave the best acceptance speech I have ever heard last night! I couldn't believe it when the news talking heads said that the speech had gone on for over just an hour. It felt like five minutes. He is an in credible orator!

God bless him and keep him from harm during the following months!

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The Latest

Men's Threat to Kill Obama is Downplayed
Wednesday 27 August 2008
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by: Nicholas Riccardi, The Los Angeles Times

Federal authorities say the pair's rants while on a methamphetamine binge do not meet the legal standard for filing charges, despite their possession of rifles and sniper scopes.
Denver - Federal authorities today downplayed threats made by a pair of men arrested here over the weekend with rifles, sniper scopes and an alleged desire to kill Barack Obama.

Shawn Robert Adolf, 33, and Tharin Robert Gartrell, 28, were being held on parole violations while an associate, Nathan Johnson, was in jail on methamphetamine charges. U.S. Atty. Troy Eid said the men, during a meth binge, had expressed strongly racist views and spoken about killing the presumed Democratic presidential nominee.

The talk, Eid said, does not meet the legal standard for filing charges for threatening a presidential candidate.

"The law recognizes a difference between a true threat - that's one that can be carried out - and the reported racist rants of drug abusers," Eid said at a packed afternoon news conference.

There have been low-grade fears for months about possible threats to the life of Obama, who will become the first African American major-party presidential nominee when he accepts the nomination at a football stadium Thursday night. Obama received Secret Service protection early after he announced his campaign in 2007, a recognition of the risks he faces.

Eid acknowledged that many questions have not been answered, including why the men had high-powered weaponry, body armor, two-way radios, wigs and camouflage gear. It was also unclear why they decided to base themselves in a suburban Hyatt hotel where they believed - erroneously - Obama was staying.

"We are just going to continue to investigate this," Eid said.

In a jailhouse interview with KCNC-TV, Johnson said he did not know whether Adolf and Gartrell would have taken action.

"I don't want to say yes, but I don't want to say no," he said.
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COMMENTS
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If these two had made the
Wed, 08/27/2008 - 14:17 — Anonymous (not verified)
If these two had made the same threat against Bush-Cheney or McCain-???, two-thirds of the right-wingnuts in the country would be using it as proof the current Administration has been right in its Constitution-shredding actions, while the other third would be asking why the Unitary Executive doesn't immediately label them Enemy Combatants and pack them off to Guantanamo.
The run up to the
Wed, 08/27/2008 - 13:37 — Ignatz Farquad (not verified)
The run up to the assassination; naturally they will let these "misfits" and "malcontents" walk despite the sniper rifles, the wigs, the two-way radios, the body armor; these "drug addicts" have black ops military Blackwater written all over them. Maybe the Republican Criminal Organization is now less worried about losing their place at the trough, now that the swiftboating is taking hold, the media is obviously on board and the Democrats are showing their usual talent for self-destruction (perhaps Obama's advisors have been infiltrated with GOP double agents, you know the "oh, let's not get negative" crowd), so they called it off and threw the B-team under the bus; or maybe its a cover your ass diversion for the real plot, which one suspects will be perpetrated by someone with a three word Arab sounding name. U.S. Atty. Troy Eid - formerly a Republican lobbyist, of course, a Bush appointee. Since when are US attorney's so solicitous of methamphetamine addicts? Since when do Republicans care about legal standards and thresholds? You can bet if they found four guys with high powered rifles, sniper equipment, body armor, radios and wigs in a hotel "they thought" McCain was going to be in, these guys would be on the next plane to Cuba, never to heard from again, unless they were wearing Obama buttons. Wake up folks - Republicans will do anything - anything - to hold onto power. They are thugs in business suits, all liars, crooks, war criminals. Murder is hardly beneath them, when necessary. Ask Mel Carnahan. Paul Wellstone, and Dr. Bruce E. Ivins.