This report in from reporter Osama Bin Olson, the only verified camel jockey east of the Mississppi:
Soon to be (thank God!) ex-president George Bush is said to be looking into opening a shoe shine/cobbler shop in the green zone in beautiful downtown Baghdad.
"It will be good to be actually doing some form of manual labor other than cutting and stacking brush at the ranch," the soon to be unemployed said with that silly smirk on his face. "Lord knows I haven't done anything in eight years so it'll prb'ly take me awhile to get in shape, but I think that I will model my cobbler shop after the Seattle Fish Market only in reverse. Rather than having fish tossed about by employees, customers will be bringing in shoes in need of repair and tossing them across the counter at me. Any customer that can catch me off guard and actually hit me in the head will get a 10 per cent discount. Fridays will be 'Hit Me in the Testicles' and win a free sole day."
Nobody will be allowed to win more than once a week. "Fool me once - shame on you -- fool me again -- no -- lessee -- you can fool some of the people some of the time, but fool me once and it's mission accomplished -- or sumpthin like that."