Hi! It's me: Mr. Broken Ankle, Fibromyalgia'ed, Sleep Apnea'ed, Faulty Gall Bladdered, Dude

I have returned from my third sleep study at Marshfield Clinic, Eau Claire. This time, unlike the first two, the results are much, much better. The medicals may have finally zeroed in on the correct APAP/CPAP machine that I really need to start solving the sleep apnea problem.

My oxygen levels stayed well above 90 per cent all night, I was able to achieve REM sleep three times, and best of all, there were no pauses in the heart beat at all. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of solving many of my recurring health problems. Geez. I hope so. I would like to stick around and entertain people for a few more years.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am a handgun freak. I grew up on The Lone Ranger, Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy, and Tom Mix - all toting those nickel plated 44 single action Army Colts. So when my friend Steve Rogers forwarded me the following, I smiled a lot and knew I would have to include it on a blog page some time:

Shooting advice

Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill instructor,
and part standup comic (Thunder Ranch is a firearms
training facility in Arizona ).

Here are a few of his observation on tactics, firearms, self
defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.

"The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win and cheat
if necessary." "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.."

"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get
killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to
death with it, cause it's going to be empty."

"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If
you're not loadin', you should be movin',
if you're not movin', someone's gonna cut your
head off and put it on a stick."

"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your
flashlight in your back pocket.. If you light yourself
up, you'll look like an angel or the tooth
fairy... and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty
soon."

"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something." "Shoot
what's available, as long as it's available, until
something else becomes available."

"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's
ridiculous. If you have a gun, what in the hell do you
have to be paranoid about."

"Don't shoot fast, unless you also shoot good.."
"You can say 'stop' or use any other
word you think will work, but I've found that a
large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is
pretty much the universal language."

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems.. How long
you live depends on how well you do it."
"You cannot save the planet but you may be able to save yourself
and your family."

"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until
someone makes us go away, and either way, it will be
exciting."

More Excellent Gun Wisdom.......

The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory
in defense. The sword is more important than the
shield, and skill is more important than either. The
final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.>
1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to
fight, he'll just kill you.
2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.
4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers.
The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger
was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?'
The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'
6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous
regularity.
7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady
commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see
you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?'
'No ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle.'
8. Beware of the man who only has one gun, because he probably
knows how to use it very well.

'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of
him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

A people that values its privileges above its principles will
soon lose both.
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do
not.." - Thomas Jefferson




XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Many years ago in
Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen
Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered
into the English language.

------------
--------- --------- --------- ----
------------
--------- --------- --------- ----

Every day more money
is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.
Treasury.



------------
-- ------------ --------- --------

Men can read smaller
print than women can; women can hear better.

------------
--------- --------- --------- ----

Coca-Cola was
originally green.


-----------
--------- --------- --------- ----


It is impossible to lick
your elbow.

------------
--------- --------- --------- ----

The State with the
highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

------------
--------- --------- --------- ----

The percentage of
Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get
this...)

------------
--------- --------- --------- ----

The percentage of
North America that is wilderness: 38%

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

The cost of raising
a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

$ 16,400

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

The average number
of people airborne over the U..S. in any given
hour:

61,000

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Intelligent people
have more zinc and copper in their hair....

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

The first novel ever
written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

------------
-- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- -

The San Francisco
Cable cars are the only mobile National
Monuments.

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Each king in a deck
of playing cards represents a great king from history:



Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander,
the Great

Diamonds - Julius
Caesar

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

111,111,111 x
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

If a statue in the
park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air,
the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Only two people
signed the Declaration of Independence e on July 4, John Hancock
and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.


------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

Q.. Half of all
Americans live within 50 miles of what?



A. Their birthplace
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------


Q. Most boat owners
name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
requested?



A.
Obsession

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Q... If you were to
spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter 'A'?



A. One
thousand

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Q.. What do
bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers have in common?



A. All were invented
by women.

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Q. What is the only
food that doesn't spoil?


A.
Honey


------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------
Q... Which day are
there more collect calls than any other day of the
year?



A. Father's
Day
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
---

In Shakespeare's
time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'

------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

It was the accepted
practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the
wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with
all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

At least 75% of
people who read this will try to lick their
elbow!




------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Don't delete this
just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read
it.



I cdnuolt blveiee
taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?



------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
------

YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when...



1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.



2. You haven't
played solitaire with real cards in years.



3. You have a list
of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three..




4. You e-mail the
person who works at the desk next to you.


5. Your reason for
not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses..



6. You pull up in
your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries.



7. Every commercial
on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen




8. Leaving the house
without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it..



10 You get up in
the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee




11 You start
tilting your head sideways to smile. : )



12 You're reading
this and nodding and laughing.



13 Even worse, you
know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.



14 You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.



15 You actually
scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list


~~~~~~AND ~~~~~
~~~~~~~FINALLY~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at
yourself.


Go on, forward this
to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick your
elbow.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO