IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT POP OVER

For the pst month or so I have been experimenting in the kitchen in search of the perfect pop over.

My wife, nor I , for that matter, do not like pop overs that are gooey inside and of course, no one likes a pop over that doesn't really rise magnificently. Overcoming pop overs that didn't actually "pop" was my first exercise in problem solving. I started by experimenting with different kinds of receptacles for the pop overs to bake in. I tried custard cups, miniature "flower pots" and finally the black metal pop over cups that come six to a rack.

I was not happy with any of the above. The black metal tins produced the best pop overs as far as size is concerned, but it seemed no matter how much I seasoned the cups, they had a tendency to stick and really stick badly.

Then I had a very good pottery expert, David Carradori, fashion me two sets of kiln fired cups, large in size and that was a good start.

Even so, at first I had trouble with the pop overs sticking, especially at the bottom, even though I would butter the cups liberally before pouring the batter into them.

Then I found "Baker's Joy", a "no stick baking spray with flour" which is fat free and comes in a white tubular can with a blue cap. This has solved the sticking problem entirely!

I also discovered that to lessen the chances of the pop overs failing to "pop over", there were several important steps to be taken:

1. Always use very fresh eggs and milk.
2. Do not over fill the cup - fill to about two thirds, maxImum.
3. Do not over mix the ingredients. ( I use an ordinary fork to gently beat the ingredients together until there is a mixture that holds together but not entirely smooth.
4. Start with a cold oven.
5. Set your temp at 400 degrees.

In addition to the flour, milk, eggs, salt, and melted butter, I also add about a teaspoon of granulated sugar before sifting the dry ingredients. This helps to brown the pop over magnificently and adds a little bit of sweetness to the finished product.

How do you know when a pop over is done? I don't use a set time. I use my nose as my first indication that they are close. After that, I keep the oven light on and check every few minutes to see how the browning is coming along.

The final step is to pull the oven grate out, take a fork and aggressively puncture the top of each pop over and then return them to the still heating oven for an additional three to five minutes. this allows the inside of the pop over to dry out and produces a very crispy pop over.

I serve pop overs with plenty of butter at room temperature as I like to slather my pop overs with butter! Pop overs are delicious with just butter - or my two favorite condiments - honey and strawberry or blueberry jam.

Thus endeth my little baking lesson for the day!

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WHO NEEDS A FEMALE VIAGRA? EVER HEARD OF FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATE?

Are you aware that a new world record has been set for the HIGH JUMP from a
KNEELING position?

The record (0.757 metres) - remember this is from a KNEELING position - was
set recently on a beach near Montpellier in Southern France ..

This photograph was taken a split second before the jump - but it gives you
an idea as to how it was achieved.....


This much we know for sure: You do not touch the third rail. You do not betray your closest friends. You do not eat the fuzzy part of the cheese.
You do not rise up from the watery depths too rapidly, lest you go quickly insane. You do not drink five cups of coffee and three shots of absinthe and then attempt delicate brain surgery, blindfolded. You do not drill for oil a mile down in the pristine seas and have no reliable backup systems should something go horribly, horribly wrong. You do not mock Mother Nature.

But above all else, for absolute certain, one thing you really, really do not do: You do not mess around with the female sexual response.

I'm wondering if this will be the one to do it. I'm wondering if the current flurry of activity around the long-rumored, hotly debated, coolly mistrusted, still nonexistent "female Viagra," that hugely elusive wonderdrug currently being chased down by a whole slew of eager, cash-hungry major pharmcos, will be the one to change everything. And not necessarily for the better.

Have you heard? About the magic, billion-dollar pill that's to be aimed at the roughly 40 percent (!) of American women who report a complete lack of interest in sex, who have low or nonexistent libidos, women for whom even moderate arousal is akin to finding a happy gay Mormon in Utah?

Is this the one? Will this be the wild drug chase that finally cracks us wide open, make us see the light, the folly, the futility of trying to unwind the deeper and juicier mysteries of existence? Let us ponder.

We're getting closer. The FDA just rejected the second major attempt at a female libido enhancer, a drug called flibanserin, from German titan Boehringer Ingelheim. Seems the FDA was unimpressed by the drug's overall effectiveness, despite BI's claims that flibanserin's power lies not in its ability to stimulate immediate sexual arousal, but rather in how it serves as a more general improver of overall sensual awareness. Or something.

No matter. This fine attempt means it won't be long until more drugs come down the pike, aiming to capture that elusive gold ring called "female sex drive." I'm actually sort of looking forward to the efforts; something really interesting is bound to emerge, something weird and wonderful, revealing and troubling, all at once.

It's a strange and fascinating game, this hunt. On the one hand, it's widely believed that female libido issues are at least partially clinical, medical, chemical, a genuinely treatable condition, something a synthetic drug can assist in at least partially rekindling. Hell, we have drugs that do everything from tricking your heartbeat to those that help you stop screaming in the night. Why not this?

On the other hand... well, the other hand is where it gets really interesting.

Here's the thing: Everyone knows male Viagra is all about simple mechanics, a brilliant plumbing fix, and nothing more. The miraculous blue pill actually does zilch for male sex drive, nothing to "turn you on," nothing to make sex any hotter or kinkier or orgasmically mindblowing, nothing to help generate a mad lust to be gang-licked by 10,000 nubile callipygian wood nymphs while driving a Bugatti Veyron at 250 mph straight into the sun. For men, that sort of physical lust is automatic, a priori, woven in to our very bones.

The female version is an entirely different divine pink mystery-soaked wildebeest altogether.

The female sexual response is gorgeously, notoriously, infuriatingly hardwired into more than a few unfathomable cosmic wavelengths, along with a whole army of wobbly expectations, cultural proscriptions, maternal drives, menopausal shifts, depressions, ecstasies, bored housewiferies, psychological contradictions -- not to mention nearly 2,000 years of male-dominated culture not having a f--ing clue what the clitoris is actually for, combined with a near total medical ignorance (until recently) of intricate female plumbing.

In short, female sexuality is the same as it's ever been: a divine, inscrutable kaleidoscope wrapped in a mystery shaped like a yonic enigma. Parsing it in any reliable way has been one of humanity's greatest challenges, joys, follies, wine-soaked laughter-filled experiments.

My humble male prediction: It will continue to be this way for... well, just about forever. Like poetry, art, the Great Pyramids and avocadoes, it is simply not meant to be unraveled. Put another way, if we ever do fully unravel it, it means the time-space continuum has come undone, consciousness has finally shifted, and we are ready for the next leap. Understand female sexuality, you understand God. Or at least, you understand how She dances.

Do not misunderstand: I'm not de facto against the pharmcos attempting this bizarre feat of effrontery, despite the inherent insult of corporations thinking they can delineate and define the workings of the female sex. Hell, the DSM-IV has been doing it for years. So has the church. Ditto modern medicine. It's just our nature. Complaining that drug makers are inventing ailments to make a profit is like bitching about how crocodiles in Florida keep eating all the little fluffy doggies on the shore. This is just what they do.

In fact, I wish them luck. If nothing else, there will be many fascinating theories, findings, test methods, focus groups. Who knows? One of these corporations may stumble on a bit of truly magnificent, unexpected wisdom about the female wonderdazzle that makes us rethink the entire human sexual experiment altogether.

But know this: There is no way in hell well get anywhere near to figuring it all out. No pill can ever touch the complexity. The best we can do is examine and isolate a few trouble spots, find a few fixes for the most distressed and needful among us, hope for the best.

It's a bit like NASA poking at the dangerous magnificence of black holes, those swirling deep space phenomena that entice and enthrall us almost as much as they scare us silly. Sure, we can get reasonably close, we can take astounding photos, we can make all sorts of educated guesses as to what might be happening in there. We can even send in a few probes, feelers, satellites, take some measurements and gather a few samples to send back to the lab.

But holy hell on a tip of a vibrator, you don't actually go in there. That's where worlds collide, universes expand, meanings come undone, gods laugh, demons play poker with angels, and fire turns into spun glass in the shape of a Sylvia Plath poem. You think you got a pill for that? The hell you do.

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FROM E MAILS RECEIVED:

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
<><>
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
<><>
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
<><>
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
<><>
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
<><>
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
<><>
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
<><>
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
<><>
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
<><>
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
<><>
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
<><>
Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
<><>
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
<><>
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
<><>
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
<><>
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
<><>
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
<><>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
<><>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal

<><>
And last but not least, the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.


##################################################

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in
life was to become a teacher?"

To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie.
Be honest. What do you make?"


Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want
to know what I make?" (She paused for a second, then began...)


"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.


I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.


I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't
make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.


You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and
every person at the table)


"I make kids wonder.


I make them question.


I make them apologize and mean it.


I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.


I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't
everything.


I make them read, read, read.


I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain,
not the man-made calculator.


I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know
about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.


I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the
Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in
the United States of America .


Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were
given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)


"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money
isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because
they are ignorant. You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
What do you make Mr. CEO?"


His jaw dropped, he went silent. (AT LEAST FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS STORY)

________________________________________________________________

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 75TH BIRTHDAY!

Congratulations to my fine oldest brother Robert upon his three quarters of a century birthday. Bob is a really talented guy - especially when it comes to Wisconsin's bird population as he can recognize every species simply by hearing their songs.

I decided to go down and visit him this morning and in honor of his day I took along my pop over cups and everything else I would need to make his birthday a little more special.

We had a really nice visit and I even got a chance to give "Dusty" the cat a good brushing. He is one cool dude - a rescued cat from the Menomonie shelter.

Dorothy was looking well and we also had a nice visit.

Thanks, Bob and Dorothy, for a beautiful morning! And again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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VERY PLEASED WITH SEAGULL SM12 SOUND

Hey, guitar gear heads! This is my Seagull SM12 twelve string guitar that I was able to practically "steal" during some horse trading at a big guitar dealership which shall remain anonymous. When I first acquired it, it sat around the house for almost a year before I finally bought a set of d'Addario phosphor bronze lights for it.

After stringing it up and getting the tuning and stretching and retuning out of the way, I was truly amazed at how much this supposed "low end" guitar puts out not only in volume but in exquisite ringing tone.

Let's see -- in the past I have owned a Guild 12'er, a Martin D-12-35, and a big old Harmony Sovereign 12 string - and although each of those was special in its own way, none of them can equal this guitar in a couple of areas.

First off, this is the first 12 string guitar that I have owned that consistently stays in tune. Anyone who has owned a twelve string guitar knows what a nightmare it is to keep in tune - for an entire song, much less an entire set! but the Seagull discovery of "straight line" tuners truly makes a difference in keeping the instrument true.

Secondly, maybe it is just this guitar, but it has a really even, shimmering sound when strummed - from the highs to the mids to the lows - it is all there!,

Ordinarily I steer clear of guitars that do not have solid wood all round. However, this SM12 has cherry laminate back and sides and it still has a really commanding voice, not thin in the least.

After putting the new set of strings on her I got so excited that I taught myself the chord progression for Gordon Lightfoot's "The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", a very haunting chord structure just made for backing with a 12 string. I found the lyrics and there are too many, but Lightfoot's poetry is excellent!

Should really memorize it. After all, Wisconsin gets a mention!

________________________________________________________________

A GRAND DAUGHTER'S PRAYER

Dear God, please send clothes
for all those poor ladies
on grandpa's computer.



_______________________________________________________________

TREASURE HUNTING IN THE SECOND HAND STORES

So this mrning I says to Kim:" "Let's go out and browse at my favorite store."
"T.J. Maxx?", she asks.

"Nope. The Hope Gospel Mission Thrift Store."

With my employment at an all time low i can no longer afford to shop at discount stores. I am now into finding used treasures at Salvation Army and other charity contribution built stores. I remember the last time I was at the Hope Gospel store I found three pair of practically new tennis shoes that fit really well -- at eight dollars a pair, why would I spend $60 to $80 in a retail store?
This trip netted me a replacement tackle box and a condiment presentation holder.

Okay, so the tackle box was really filthy and in need of a complete cleaning but look how sweet she turned out with about a half hour of intense scrubbing with a stiff brush and some floor cleaner! Not bad for three bucks!

Some time ago I went in search of a small book case to be situated next to my work area here at the office. that took a couple of visits but eventually, for $15 i got a really retro 1960's two shelf case with sliding glass doors.

There is something really deeply satisfying about finding some piece that I really like and pay so little for!

________________________________________________________________

AND these gems from my pal, Kevin Johnson:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'It's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, then said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head negatively, and said,
'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly, then nodded and said,
'That's why we ask.'
--Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

;
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.




How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha." When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."



STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!

THIS PHOTO SHOWN AS A PUBLIC SERVICE

This morning a friend of mine asked why I never wear shorts. I told him it is because I used to ride a motorcycle --- and then it was show and tell time.

The scar is over 20 inches in length. The first time the medics opened my right leg up was to try to save the knee that was involved in a motorcycle accident. Shattered in seven places just below the knee, when it healed, the leg did not heal straight. Inside the leg was a titanium pin. The doctor told me that they would remove it in about a year. (the pin not the leg).

I thought "no way" to myself and went on my not so merry way. A year passed and arthritis set in big time. I got to the point that I was begging them to go in again.

The second operation was to entirely remove my knee cap and install an artificial knee. Originally the scar was about five inches shorter, but after the doctor went in and removed the titanium and got the knee installed, it was considerably longer.

I have been on a machine that automatically flexes the leg, twenty four seven. I have been on lengthy therapy twice, just having finished another six weeks recently.

The knee is not much better. I can do manual chores for about two hours (mowing lawn, walking the driveway for the mail, grocery shopping, and then I am done for the day.

Why would I run this photo? If you are thinking about buying a motorcycle or even a scooter, take a good look at it. Because I was in some motorist's blind spot , I managed to slam that leg into a telephone pole at 20 mph -- yes, just 20 mph. You might want to think twice about buying a two wheeler.

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AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

I f you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)




If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it !)




The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O....M.G.!)




A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)




A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)




Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)




The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?)




The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)




The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)




Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)




Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)




The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm.... ..)




Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)




Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing)





A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out. )




An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)




Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)




Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)




Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)


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