Friday, May 25, 2007

Miscellaneous Humor

My friend Robert Johnson teaches in Shanghai, China. He sent me the following "daffynitions", created through the imagination of his students:

diphthong- what girls do when they wash their underwear

dyspepsia - a disease caused by drinking too many carbonated beverages

coincide - heads or tails

omnibus - a multi-purpose transport vehicle

subterranean - the southern part of the Mediterranean Sea

neophyte - lovers’ first quarrel

ambiguous - when is difficult to estimate something’s size

debate - what a fisherman puts on his hook

deform - what you fill out when applying for something

degrade - what you get on your report card

illegal - a sick bird

affiliate - to consume too much food

circulate - to have eaten the entire pizza

antedate - to go out with your mother’s sister

anonymous - a rodent with amnesia

penultimate - the most expensive writing implement you can buy

postdoctoral - a P.H.D. disguised as a mail carrier

megaphone - a high tech communication device, usually large in size

My wife Kim's good friend Jill sent the following by e mail:

Why husbands don't make very good secretaries:
Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:

"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't even know you liked beer."

Today, May 25th, is my friend Wil Denson's birthday. I don't remember how old he is. Neither does he! but Happy Birthday any way, Wil, you old fart!

What Larry Is Currently Listening To:

"Standard Songs For Average People" Mac Wiseman and John Prine. An incredible collection of great old songs by two profoundly touching country voices. I can't stop listening to it!

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