NEXT TIME I NEED KINDLING I WILL BE GATHERING IT NAKED!

This morning in order to save my last night's coals that were still aglow in the bungalow wood stove, I had to go out into the brush nearby to locate some dead tree branches to serve as start up kindling.

I was wearing my brand new pea coat which is 90 per cent wool.  In the dim early morning light I was unaware of what I had traipsed through until I got back into the light of the office.
Once I had put my burden down, my attention was drawn to the pictured weeds that had firmly attached themselves to the soft wool fabric. I have spent time googling "stick tights" "beggar's ticks" and just about everything else that grows under the sun but could not find this stuff! All I know is that I spent most of the day today trying to remove the little bastards from my coat! You cannot vacuum them off (tried that). you cannot form a make shift remover by forming packaging tape into a circle sticky side out (I tried that).
They will not come off with a scrub brush or the fine wire brush I use to comb the cats with - I know because I TRIED THAT , TOO!!!
I even called Queens dry cleaners in Eau Claire and the gentleman knew immediately what I was talking about and I could tell by his tone of voice that he wanted nothing to do with the job - not without charging me so much that I would have to rob a bank to pay the bill.

So after I got a good fire going in the stove, made myself some coffee, turned on my computer and got Pandora on through the internet, I set about removing the offending little creepy things by hand -- one at a frickin" time!

As you can see from the contents of my garbage can, a lot of the wool from my pea coat went with the sob's. So we learn by doing. If I was a hunter I would have experienced the hell of these long long ago. I can't imagine the fun it must be to remove these from a hunting dog's coat!

I have a theory. Back when everything was being created, God was not the only one at work. He gave the devil permission to think up things like mosquitos, biting ants, wood ticks, sand burrs nettles, poison ivy, and these microscopic maddening little pieces of shit!

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Sorry - I lost it there for a moment. Here, watch this and feel better about nature:

http://www.naturesinspirationmovie.com/



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I DON'T KNOW WHO THE GUY WITH THE BEARD IS - BUT THE OTHER ONE IS MY FRIEND SEBASTIAN WHO SHOULD BE INTERNATIONAL POSTER CHILD OF HAPPY!

I just have to add this wonderful photograph of my favorite little man Sebastian who as you can see is not in the least bit afraid of Santa Claus. I have published several other photos of Sebastian and I just think he should be an international poster child for happiness around the world!

I HOPE SEBASTIAN HAS THE MERRIEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

My Christmas prayers have been answered and I have received the greatest Christmas gift of all, the safe return of my wonderful brother Father John Heagle from Bangladesh. Recently I published an e mail I received from him. Here is the one I just got in after the poor guy finally returned to his digs on the coast of Oregon:

Dear Larry,

We are home. Exhausted and weak from a lack of sleep, but home. So, for tonight a short version.

It will take me a long time to reflect on and begin to integrate the experiences of the last two weeks. What I can say at this point is that it has expanded my sense of the goodness and generosity of our brothers and sisters around the world, as well as the challenges of poverty, pain, and struggle that they face. Tonight, I listened briefly to some Republican senator from OK who asserted that the climate crisis is made up by scientists who are indebted to Obama. That evokes a sense, shall we say, of puzzlement in me. This guy should visit Seoul, Manila, Delhi, or Dhaka, just to mention the places I can claim as experiential and I'm not sure he would have been so simplistice. My eyes are still burning from the smog, the exhuast fumes, and the massive population in a small geographical area. I almost feel guilty breathing the fresh, bracing air of the Oregon coast.
I was hoping to get back to writing tomorrow, but my body and mind are so foggy, I may just have to wait, as Robert Frost says, for 'the water to clear' before I dive into that deep pool of creativity again.

Fran joins me in giving our love to you and Kim,

brother john

I couldn't ask for a nicer Christmas gift!

I REALLY REALLY LOVE MY JOB - I ONLY WISH I WAS ALLOWED TO DO IT MORE OFTEN - GOD KNOWS, THE WORLD NEEDS TO LAUGH JUST NOW

It is ten 'til midnight, the time of day when I should at least be taking my night meds and going through all the rest of the nightly maintenance required before I can trundle off to sleep, apnea mask in place but tonight I need to take a moment just to revel in what I do for a living although as of late if it were not for the support of my loving wife I would probably be homeless by now if my "making a living" wage be known.

I guess I should back up and tell you that this afternoon, out of the pure goodness of her heart, Kim had decided to accompany me to try to sell some of my "merchandise" at the Central Wisconsin Cooperative Christmas Party of which I was to be a part. but I was being a beast, snapping at her for the least indiscretion that my nervous mind might conjure. You see, when I have been separated from performance for as long as I have been this time around, I become extremely agitated because I feel that I won't be able to do a decent show. consequently I am not much fun to be around.

Feeling pressured that I was going to be late added to my discontent but once I had fed the pertinent data into my GPS I relaxed a bit as the trip was going to take a lot less time than I had projected. to top it off, I whizzed right by my destination and didn't realize it until I reached Stratford. I knew the Country Aire was north of Stratford but the little man in the GPS is not totally trustworthy and remained mum while I did a u-turn and headed back up Highway 97.

Even at that I arrived in time to set up my gear when I was supposed to while Kim set up a card table and a display of CD's a DVD, and Tee Shirts.

By the time we sat down to dinner (one of the perks of being an after dinner performer) I had finally relaxed and had chosen my opening bit. So of course after I was introduced, I started with something totally different, swung quickly into my Christmas song parodies after explaining that they originated at military and deer camps.

Here's where it gets really difficult for me to try to explain to you why I love my job so much. My opening went so well that the crowd was hanging on my every punch line and every solid laugh I elicited from them washed over me like healing waters.
I found a really good groove very early in the show, my tempo was outstanding, and my forty five minutes flew by in an instant.

to hear people laugh freely from their bellies, from their very souls is what I live for and when I had finished my presentation I could feel the warmth of my audience, touch the electricity in the room.

A woman that I had been watching throughout the show just because she was having so much fun came up to tell me so after the show. And I thanked her and told here how much inspiration she had given me to do my best.

So here I am, back at the office, nursing the stove back to life, thinking about a pot of coffee but knowing that would be a bad mistake at this juncture. I just called Kim and told her not to wait up for me. She has movie plans with Sarah on the morrow. I don't even have Packer football this sunday so why not stay up late and sleep in for as long as I damn well please in the morning?

Hey! I've earned it!

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GREAT NEWS FROM MY BROTHER JOHN

Since November 23, I have been very concerned about my brother, Father John Heagle and his fellow minister Sister Fran Furder as that was the day they departed on a long and grueling mission to Bangladesh. They had been invited at the behest of an order of sisters to come and minister not only to the sisters, but to several groups.

Since November 23 I had heard nothing from either of them which added to my worry and concern. finally this morning I received the following e mail that I wish to share with you, my readers:

We are sitting in the airport in Amsterdam at 6:30 AM, Friday, Dec 4, after flying from Dhaka to Delhi and then an all night flight from Delhi that left at 1 AM. It was an 8 hour flight, and since I don’t sleep well on airplanes, I’m already in zombie-state. We have a four hour layover here and then 14 hours to Portland—the long journey home after this challenging, amazing, and remarkable time in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

I had assumed that I might be able to have internet access with the Holy Cross Sisters, but things are a bit simpler there than I had anticipated, so this is the first chance I’ve had to get on line. After we arrived 12 days ago, we led a three day workshop for the Bangladeshi Holy Cross Sisters, followed by two days with 'Stop the Traffic', an organization that rescues and rehabilitates young women who have been trapped in the international sex trade. After that we led another three day workshop for 150 of the priests, brothers, sisters, and lay leaders of the five dioceses of Bangladesh. We also visited orphanages, domestic violence shelters, rape recovery locations, student hostels for college women, schools, medical clinics, and centers for differently-abled persons.

The people we met and worked with are such welcoming, warm, loving, human persons with profound faith and an overwhelming spirit of love and service. I have such respect for their dedication and their commitment to the people they serve. They are truly other-centered people. There is so much poverty and destitution in this part of the world, and so few resources to meet these needs.

It has been a demanding and life-changing experience for me to make this journey. At this point there are so many experiences, people, faces, conversations, events, and poignant moments tumbling around in my head and heart that I can’t find the words to begin trying to describe it. As I mentioned before we left, Bangladesh is about the size of Iowa. Iowa has 3 million people; Bangladesh has 150 million people, more than half of the population of the USA. So, there is immense crowding, devastating poverty, widespread pollution, chaotic traffic, and constant, intense noise 24 hours a day. I slept on a cot with a coconut-hemp mattress and a mosquito net, ate lots of rice and cooked vegetables, drank tea 6 times a day, and listened to the Muslim call to prayer day and night, as it is broadcast from huge loudspeakers from the top of the mosques.

The Christian population of Bangladesh is only a sliver of the total--.03 percent, so the Catholic population is even smaller. But they are a resilient and faith-filled community.

I'm coming home with multiple large mosquito bites, emotional weariness, and physical exhaustion, but it feels like it has all been worth it to listen, learn, and walk with so many gifted, generous ministers.

Well, that’s the scoop for now; I’m going to bring this rambling reflection to a close for now.

WHO YA' GONNA CALL? COMPLETE HOME MAINTENANCE!

Yesterday I rather skimmed over all the really good work that "Complete Home Maintenance" did on the office bungalow rear roof. Whoever added that section onto the building (god knows how many years ago) really didn't understand the theories of physics - and we're not talking rocket science here. The original roof was nearly flat, hardly any pitch as you can see from the photos..
As Rob (head man of CHM) explained to me, you can't put down a typical roof of plywood, tar paper and shingles when rain and snow have no place to run off. As you can see from the work in progress, I guess we're lucky that the roof held up for as many years as it did!
Rob and crew used a two day window of perfect weather to get the job entirely finished as it should have been done originally.
What you are looking at in the final pictures here is the top layer of roofing material that is used when there is little or no pitch to the roof. It is a sheeting of rubber that covers the entire surface and should provide years of service with no leakage whatsoever.
This is comforting to know as the rooms directly below the new cover are a bed room and a bath room. it would be rather disconcerting to wake up to water dripping on your face in the darkness of the middle of the night!

Rob and the crew of Complete Home Maintenance are great guys to have in your employ and I recommend them highly. Here's what it says on the business card:

COMPLETE HOME MAINTENANCE COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL:

GUTTER CLEANING, PRESSURE WASHING, PAINTING, LAWN CARE, TREE TRIMMING, SPRINKLER SYSTEMS, DRIVEWAY SEALING, SNOW REMOVAL, ROOF RAKING, SPRING/FALL CLEANUP, AND GENERAL HOME MAINTENANCE.

Free estimates ~ insured Call Rob at: 715-559-2180

Rob is congenial, a good worker, and is fairly priced. I recommend him highly!

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Kim's cleaning lady, Diane Rahl, who comes in for general house cleaning once every two weeks, has come to have quite a relationship with our two little pals, Hammy and Stella. Here's the note she left for us today:

As for current events, we played "52 pick up" with your rocks in the bath room. I bumped them and over they went! But no fear. Hammy was here! He was a great help in gathering them up again.

But Stella was the most helpful when it comes to "swiffering" under the bed. She guides the Swiffer right where it needs to go! As for Hammy's part with the Swiffer, he just lays on it which makes it a bit heavier to maneuver.

but they're very entertaining for someone who spends most of her day alone .. working. (that's me!)

Stay well, Be back in two weeks!

Thanx
Diane

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Trailer Load of Wood Already Gone!

Today, wednesday, I moved closer to the final step of the Jim Carter helmet signing as I received the two "G" decals that I had been waiting for, in hopes that I would have them before the actual autographing date of December 9th. Actually it has been quite a day all round. first I started out the day by finishing off the load of firewood that Blinky and I had worked so diligently on this past week. I have been keeping the stove going 24/7 by banking the coals and damping down the stove daily. Every day I am able to do this I am saving on the overall expense of propane - and with so little work coming in these days, that is definitely a good thing!
In addition to receiving decals, I also got my helmet display case - after searching diligently, I was able to find one at an absolute rock bottom price.

I also received the engraved name plate for the case - yeh, it's been like Christmas around here today! So my Green
Bay Packer shrine is now complete. Time to start burning incense and chanting daily for a win over the baltimore Ravens next monday.

JIM CARTER HELMET NEARING COMPLETION

This is my latest and perhaps my last football helmet project: the Jim Carter helmet. I won the helmet on eBay for the paltry sum of $35.00 plus shipping from a guy in Texas. a brand new Riddell helmet would have run me $143.90.

when it arrived it was in pretty rough shape. It already had some Green Bay Packer decals on it but they were beginning to peel and were not at all positioned where they should be so I got out my trusty hair dryer set on high heat, the "Goo-Gone", some hot water with Dawn dish washing liquid, and removed the decals.

Just after I won the helmet, I contacted Real Stuff and ordered the "cage" face mask you see pictured. I had done my research on line, looking for photos of Mr. Carter in his playing uniform and found one photo of him with a very unusual looking mask. With further investigation I found out that it was a Riddell-made mask that was only manufactured for a few years,

The dealer wants $199 for a duplicate of the mask?!?! At that price, I opted for the more standard mask you see pictured. so after thoroughly cleaning and waxing the helmet, I installed the face mask with the provided fasteners. It is now ready to be autographed by Mr. Carter on December 9th.

I also ordered a nice display case for the helmet and am having a custom name plate made that will read:

JIM CARTER, LINEBACKER, PRO BOWL 1973
GREEN BAY PACKERS


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Life As A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.



His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three."

"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In will burst Sarah Palin and hack off your head."



"Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part," he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!"


Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing exercise tapes.

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.



And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound!
So now I'm a pet in the ex-governor's lap,
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said
"Christmas is coming ..."

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